So we meet again
by Cassandra Raie
Summary: Edward left in New Moon, but never returned. He wasnt there this time to Save Bella when she was bitten by Victoria so what happens when she meets the cullens again 100 years later? Well, who wouldnt be resentful? ABANDONED!
1. Chapter 1 Revised

**AN --**

**Ok, so this one had been revised, i think it is better than it was the first time round...**

_As I pranced through the forest towards a scent that compelled my senses I heard another presence near me, I quickly smelled the air, using me senses to detect if it was a human or something that could cause some trouble, but nothing seemed out of place to me, so against my better nature, I ignored it and continued on my mission. I started to make my move, going in to kill the small deer that had caught my attention. I leaped into the air and suddenly…_

_**CRASH!**_

_The sound was like thunder, and I was thrown from my path, sliding across the forest floor, I sat on the ground stunned for a few seconds before I stood up in one swift, graceful movement to see what had cause the sudden conflict with my meal._

_As I looked up into the eyes of the person who had blocked my attack, I instantly wished that I hadn't, I was absolutely shocked and horrified to see a pixie – like, golden eyed vampire staring back at me._

_I stood in shock as my mind processed the information, I would know who she was anywhere, I knew her almost better than myself… or at least I used too._

So who am I? And how did I get here? Well that story dates back to 100 years ago when the love of my existence left me, telling me he no longer wanted me.

My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but here I go by the name of Belle Cullen, I decided to use my loves last name, not because I wanted to remember him, but to honour him, he was everything to me. My age was frozen at 18 when I was attacked and bitten by a sadistic vampire who was seeking revenge.

_I was being chased through the forest with the Quileute Wolves following me from the tree line – I had told them to keep a distance unless it was completely necessary, all I wanted was to talk to her, explain. Victoria, who was holding a Vendetta because my boyfriend at the time killed her mate, had decided that she wanted to make me suffer, little did she know, I was suffering more than enough for two life times._

_She chased me at human speed through the forest, she was toying to me, I knew that, and this was when the saying 'don't play with your food' came to my mind. She lunged at me suddenly, and I knew I didn't have a chance; she went straight for my neck, pushing me to the ground, and sinking her razor sharp teeth into my flesh. _

_Suddenly she was thrown off me; I looked over to see the wolves start to tear her limb from limb – literally. I don't remember anything after that, I blacked out from the pain. I woke up after that, not really sure how long I had been out, the wolves were no where to be seen and I ran as far away from Forks as I could._

I went up to Alaska, deciding to stay with the Denali coven for a while, but soon, I got tired, and decided to go out on my own. I started to travel by myself; I would stay in one town for a few years, go to high school and then move on, just like the Cullen's. I decided to come back to Forks 4 years ago, and after laying low for a few years, I decided to re enrol in Forks High School for the second time in my existence.

I had only just started school a couple of weeks ago, and seriously needed to hunt, so I decided for a change, I would hunt in the forest out near where the old Cullen house is. As much as it hurt to ever think about the Cullen's, I always felt closer to them when I was in this forest, not that I came here a lot, and it is always worth the pain that I would go through later, just to feel some sort of closeness to them again.

I caught the scent of a small deer, nothing too enticing, I almost considered going to a park to try and find something more interesting, and exciting, but there was something in the back of my mind, screaming for me to stay here, and go for that damn deer, almost like I subconsciously knew what was going to happen, but then again, maybe I did.

As I pranced through the forest towards a scent that compelled my senses I heard another presence near me, I quickly smelled the air, using me senses to detect if it was a human or something that could cause some trouble, but nothing seemed out of place to me, so against my better instincts, I ignored it and continued on my mission. I started to make my move, going in to kill the small deer that had caught my attention. I leaped into the air and suddenly…

**CRASH!**

The sound was like thunder, and I was thrown from my path, sliding across the forest floor, I sat on the ground stunned for a few seconds before I stood up in one swift, graceful movement to see what had cause the sudden conflict with my meal.

As I looked up into the eyes of the person who had blocked my attack, I instantly wished that I hadn't, I was absolutely shocked and horrified to see a pixie – like, golden eyed vampire staring back at me.

I stood in shock as my mind processed the information, I would know who she was anywhere, I knew her almost better than myself… or at least I used too.

I watched in awe, waiting for the Goddess standing in front of me to disappear, I mean she had to disappear, because clearly, this was my imagination finally getting the better of me. I was finally crazy. This was all an illusion. But it didn't disappear, and then I realised, it wasn't going to disappear because it was really there, _she_ was really there.

Alice Cullen was standing just across from me, looking more beautiful than ever, if that was even possible, but then again, it could be because of my now enhanced sight. She seemed just as confused as me, if not more, which meant she didn't know I was coming, she didn't see me coming, so then what was she doing here?

Suddenly, and uncertain rage over came me, she had no right to be here, not now, not when I was finally getting past it all. If she was here, then chances are, so would the rest of the Cullen's, and even if they weren't, at the very least Jasper had to be here. And as soon as Alice goes back to the house, I'm sure that the rest of the Cullen's would be here within hours, if they weren't already.

I was too angry to be happy to see her, and too angry to try and not hurt her feelings, why should I try and make her more comfortable, and not hurt her feelings when she did nothing like that for me?

Instead, I decided to politely but cynically ask her what the hell she wanted.

"May I enquire as to _why_ you decided to interrupt my meal?"

She looked hurt, but I was way too amped up to care.

"I…" She stuttered, she was still frozen in shock. I had never ever seen Alice Cullen at a loss for words, but I would have to live that up later.

"You…?" I asked the anger clearly seeping through in my voice.

The she ran up and hugged me, but I was too distracted to notice or stop her. So she hugged me, she hugged me so damn tightly, that I was sure if I was human, she would have killed me. I didn't hug her back, I wanted too, but I didn't, because that would be giving in, being weak, and that is something I defiantly was not anymore, weak. I stood there waiting for her to release me; she stepped back with a frown set firmly on her beautiful features, looking slightly out of place.

It hurt to see that, and I wanted nothing more that to have my best friend back, the best friend that I had missed so much, and needed so badly in the past 100 years.

Then I heard Emmett calling out to her in the distance, it sounded like he was at the house, but no doubt making his way towards us.

"Don't you _dare_ tell anyone!" I threatened bearing my teeth as a growl erupted from my chest. Then I sprinted off at full speed through the forest, not stopping until I was safe within the confounds of my own house.

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**AN --**

**So what do you think?**

**I made it longer too :)**

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	2. Chapter 2 Revised

**AN --**

**Yay! this one has been revised too.**

**It's longer too.**

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I shrank to the floor taking deep, unnecessary breaths once I was safe in my own house, yes my house, but not my home, _'home is where the heart is'_. I couldn't believe it, Alice was back, which meant so was Jasper. Maybe, I could have handled just the two of them, convinced them not to tell the others, but Emmett was back too, which meant so was Rosalie no doubt. And why would they be back if the other three weren't, that wouldn't make sense.

So what's the point of my rambling? Well all of this meant that… that he was back too… and that, I could defiantly _not_ handle.

**Alice POV**

We had decided it was time to move back to Forks for a while, like our family had once before, I remember once before, about 20 years ago, we were going to move to forks again, but poor Edward was so scared of being reminded of Bella, even if she was dead, he couldn't handle the guilt of it all, and honestly I didn't blame him, couldn't blame him.

Everything had finally been unpacked at the house, and I decided that I needed to hunt, so I thought I would just slip out and see what I could find in the surrounding forest, which was strange for me, because never in my life with my family, had I felt the need to hunt in the forest surrounding the house. Yet, something was pulling me towards the centre of the forest.

I caught the scent of a small deer and decided to go for it, I didn't need much to satisfy my thirst, one deer should just about do it. As I started to close in on the unsuspecting prey, I heard another person running towards me, I thought it was just Emmett being an idiot or something, trying to scare me, but he should know better. Well I would deal with him later, I pounced towards the small deer, then suddenly collided with something, or someone else, sending me flying back across the forest floor with a thunderous crash, I hit a tree and it shuddered from the impact, but did not fall.

Slightly confused as to what had hit me, I got up and looked around. There standing directly opposite of me was a girl, no, not a girl, a woman, a vampire, and she was staring back at me in recognition, did she know who I was? She looked mildly familiar, like I knew her once, but she had changed…

Changed… that must be it, she must have been changed by a vampire, I must have known her when she was a human, and now she was one of us. I looked at her closely and suddenly something in my mind clicked, a vision I had once had, but had been suppressing came into my mind… this beautiful, magnificent creature was… Bella, my Bella! The best friend who I shared everything, _everything_ with, including my deepest, darkest secret.

It didn't really surprise me that I didn't recognise her straight off, I mean I had tried so much to forget her, even though it was impossible, I tried to suppress everything about her, because it hurt so damn much to think about her.

How could I not know that she was coming though? How could I have not seen this? I mean I always seen when one of our kind is near, and surely if I had such close ties to them once, I should have seen it, but maybe because I didn't want to be reminded of her, I forced myself not to see it… if that made sense.

Oh well, I could ponder all of this later, there is no point wasting time with such quizzical matters when my best friend was standing right there in front of me looking so damn beautiful. Truthfully, immortality looked amazing on her; it was almost like she was made to be like us. God I just couldn't believe that Bella was standing right in front of me looking so… angry…

Now that couldn't be right, why on earth would Bella be angry with me, I mean its not like I was the one that decided to leave her to be miserable, I at least put up a fight. I mean I knew she would be angry with all of us if we ever saw her again, but I thought she would at least be happy to see me, just at first even.

I watched her carefully, wondering what was going to happen next.

"May I enquire as to _why_ you decided to interrupt my meal?"

Wow, she was really mad; it kinda hurt to think that she held such resentment towards me.

"I…" What could I say? That I was sorry? I was happy to see her? I missed her?

"You…?" Wow, she looked kinda scary when she was mad, like threatening, and dangerous and all that stuff, it just didn't seem to balance well with soft, fragile Bella. This is the same Bella that I spent numerous nights with doing makeovers, even if she wasn't always willing, it just didn't seem right.

Thanks to my little flashback, before I knew what I was doing I had run up to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. I held onto her as if my life depended on it, but she didn't hug me back, she just stood there with her arms by her side.

I stood back with a frown set firmly on my face. Didn't she realise that we were all sorry? didn't she know we were just trying to protect her?

Suddenly I heard Emmett calling to me from the house; I had forgotten that I hadn't told anyone where I was going. He was clearly following my scent to find me and probably drag me back to the house to play some god forsaken game that he would get over in 10 seconds flat.

I noticed her stiffen when she heard his voice, I wasn't sure what she was going to do, but I don't think it would be good.

"Don't you _dare_ tell anyone!" She said, or was threatened the right word? She bared her teeth as a growl erupted from her chest. She then turned and sprinted off through the forest, not looking back once.

I stood there in the same place, not moving at all, frozen in shock, could vampires go into shock? I wasn't sure. Emmet had reached me and was waving a hand in front of my face, trying to get me to come back to him, but I couldn't, I was too far gone. I could see him saying something, but I couldn't hear anything except her last words repeating over and over in my head.

_Don't you _dare_ tell anyone!_

I was slightly aware of Emmett picking me up and running back through the forest towards the house. Suddenly it hit me, I didn't want to know what would happen if Bella went through with her threat, so I quickly cleared my mind of anything to do with her and started to count in Arabic in my head, trying to keep Edward out.

Emmett reached the house and took me inside, laying me down on the couch. I sat up as Jasper and Rose started to crowd me.

"Guys I'm fine, I just… went slightly insane, something shocked me out in the forest, that's all."

I started to walk up the stairs and I could hear Jasper call out to me asking what could have shocked me this much, ha, if only he knew. I walked into my room, and decided to put on a CD trying to flush it all out. I sat on the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest, tucking my arms around them and resting my head on my knees.

Then he walked in, Edward walked into my room, sat down on the floor and put he head on my shoulder. God, I wish I could just tell him to leave, but I couldn't.

"What happened Alice? You know you can tell me anything?"

And I did, I _could_ tell him anything, and no matter how hard I tried to keep it out of my mind, he always had a way of making me feel like I could trust him with anything, that no matter what, he would make everything better. So I let him in on the events from the afternoon, once I finished I kept repeating that last sentence over and over in my head.

I watched him carefully as he stood up, I was expecting him to lose it. To scream and cry and break things, but he didn't, he just held out his hand, offering to help me up. I took his hand, smiling at him as I stood up. He started to walk us out of the room, down the stairs, and then out of the house. Once we were outside he started to run north until we were finally far enough away from the house, so that no one could hear us.

He stopped and collapsed to the forest floor. I was shocked, so I kneeled down with him wrapping my arms around him and pulling him towards my chest in a comforting manner. I'm not sure how long we ended up staying like that, but eventually he snapped out of it, looking up to me with a great depression in his eyes.

"What have I done Alice?" he asked.

I knew better than to tell him it wasn't his fault, because honestly, it kind of was, he left her undefended, even after I told him she couldn't look after herself. And I was still mad at him for leaving her, I don't think I will ever fully forgive him for it. I know he thought he was doing the right thing, but was he really that crazy that he would leave her, miserable, alone, and unprotected?

We sat in silence for a very long time before he spoke again.

"What are we going to do?"

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**AN --**

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	3. Chapter 3 Revised

**AN --**

**Revised now too!**

**sorry its kinda short.**

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I spent the whole night lying on the couch rolled up in a ball with my favourite blanket tucked safely around my body. What was I supposed to do? I just sat there staring at the blank TV screen, looking at nothing, seeing nothing, thinking of nothing, I was trying to become numb again. It was like I was turning into the zombie again, the zombie that I was when he first left me. I had my arms wrapped firmly around my torso, trying to hold together the whole that was ripping apart in my chest, right where my heart should be. Once again, the numbness that I had worked so damn hard to build up had shattered completely and the pain was unbearable.

The first sign of light broke my trance and I got up and prepared for school in a daze.

After I got out of the shower, I slowly changed into a pair of tight jeans and a long sleeve black top with a V-neck line that showed a nice amount of cleavage. I fixed my hair so that it was in a messy bun and then walked down the stairs and out the door to my little black sports car. Usually I would walk to school, but today I didn't feel up to it.

I pulled up in the parking lot at Forks high school, watching as all the pathetic humans crowded around my car to get a good look at it. Some people were even taking pictures with their phones, but I just ignored them, I don't know what all the fuss is about, it's just a car. I got out of the car and walked towards my first class, Biology.

I walked into the class room, towards my usual seat in the middle row on the isle. Yes I know its kind of lame, because it's exactly where I sat the first time I came to Forks, I sat here because when I did, I felt close to him again. Today though, something was different, instead of the usually empty seat that was next to me, it was now occupied by the one person I didn't want to see. He hadn't noticed that I had come in yet, but as I turned around to make my quick escape out of the class room, I came face to face with our teacher, Mr. Bernard.

"Where do you think you are going Ms. Cullen?"

"Uh… no where now" I grumbled.

I turned to take my seat and saw that he was staring at me with wide and disbelieving eyes. So maybe Alice didn't tell him… pfft, yeah right! I walked towards the desk that we would be sharing, while watching him with careful eyes. I sat down and pulled my books out of my bag, placing them on the table. I could feel his eyes watching me with such intensity I was worried he might spontaneously combust.

I refused to meet his gaze, afraid of what I might see. I didn't want to see the disgust in his eyes, did he hate me? The bell finally rang to indicate the end of the lesson and I jumped from my seat, stuffing my books into my bag and raced out of the classroom before anyone else had even registered that the bell had gone. I could feel his eyes glued to my back as I walked out.

I raced towards the cafeteria at human speed, but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the rest of the Cullen's there. I saw Emmett look up and he nudged Jasper beside him. I quickly turned on my heel and headed for my car.

As I approached my car I noticed someone standing next to it, although, thanks to the glorious fog, I couldn't tell who it was, even with my enhanced eyesight, but I thought nothing of, it was probably just some stupid, idiotic guy checking out my car. I got closer and I could see who it was, well I was right about the stupid, idiotic guy part, but unfortunately, I don't think he was interested in my car.

"Hello Isabella" He stated simply, it almost scared me the way he said my voice, but I would not be weak, no, because I am a strong and independent woman… I think.

"Or should I say Belle is it?" He was a cocky son of a bitch, wasn't he?

"What do you want Cullen?"

"My, my, don't we have a temper on us?" What the hell was Jasper doing here?

"Leave her alone, she has a right to be angry!" I heard Alice chirp from behind me.

And I'm pretty sure I heard Rosalie mumble something along the lines of 'And I thought we had finally gotten rid of her.' Nice.

And then there was Emmett, who was just standing there, smiling like a complete idiot. No one spoke, no one moved, I don't even think anyone was breathing; we were all waiting for the first move. Then Emmett decided to make it as he leaped forward and pulled me into a bone crushing bear hug – so typical Emmett.

When he finally released me I glared at him and then turned towards the school, trying to make an escape, damn it, I was blocked, I turned to my car, Edward was blocking it, I couldn't escape, they were ambushing me. I sighed in defeat and stood expectantly waiting for them to make their move.

Then Edward nodded to the others and they all started to leave, going their separate ways. I was just about to make my escape when I was suddenly stilled by a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist.

"Edward let go" I all but growled, I didn't want to growl at him, I didn't want to fight him, but I didn't want to forgive him either, damn my conflicting emotions, I didn't know what I felt, all except for one thing that is, I was angry.

Edward had dropped his arms at the tone of my voice and walked around in front of me, like he was inspecting me. His eyes held such sadness and pain, he seemed truly hurt by the way I was treating him, and I almost caved right there, almost, but didn't. I took the opportunity to quickly jump into my car and speed off before he could stop me.

_Damn it, can nothing in my life be easy?_

**AN--**

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	4. Chapter 4 Revised

**AN --**

**ok, newly revised. i changed a bit in this chapter and in the next one,**

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**Edward POV**

I stood watching in shock as Bella sped away, God I had no idea she would be so mad, so resentful, she hated me, I could see it in her eyes, and I couldn't blame her one bit. I never actually expected to see her again, but I had always hoped, that if I ever did, maybe, just maybe she would still love me, maybe she could actually forgive me, and we could be happy again. How wrong was I?

I had a hard time believing that she didn't love me anymore, I mean, we had something so unbelievably beautiful, but I guess this is what I wanted, I wanted her to forget me and move on, well I got my wish. Lucky me.

What can I do? I have to do something, I mean I still love her, more than anything, what if I could convince her to give me another chance, take me back, we could be happy again, we could spend the rest of forever together. But first, first I had to make her see how sorry I am, I had to make her listen, to understand.

I heard someone approach me and then seconds later I heard Alice's thoughts bombard my mind. She said that she would tell the others that I had gone. I handed her the keys to my precious Volvo, yes I still had a Volvo, the same one too, I just couldn't stand to get rid of it, I had so many memories of Bella there, and it still faintly smelled like her.

I ran off towards the direction that Bella had gone in, sticking to the tree line so I wouldn't be spotted. After a while I had finally caught her scent and went off into the forest, following my senses. He scent grew stronger and I slowed to a walk, I had to be close, then I walked into a clearing, with a beautiful house in it. It was so perfectly Bella, not too big, not too small, it wasn't ostentatious, but it wasn't modest either.

I saw Bella's car parked in the driveway, I summoned all the courage that I could scrounge up and walked towards her front door. She would know it was me, and chances are, she wouldn't want to answer the door, but I was hoping she would give me a chance, because if not, I would either have to break the door down, or break a window to get in.

I raised my hand slowly, knocking lightly twice. I sensed a hesitation on the other side of the door, and I thought for a second she wasn't going to answer it, but then I saw the door knob turning slowly, the door came open slowly to reveal the face of an Angel. She looked pissed, like really pissed, I tried to smile lightly but I think it came out more like a grimace.

"Bella, please can we just talk?"

"Talk?"

"Yes, talk, that's it. Please?"

She stepped to the side gesturing for me to enter; I stepped through the threshold warily. She closed the door behind me with a light click. She led me into the lounge room where she sat in a soft white sofa. She was so graceful, too graceful, it didn't seem right. It hurt to think that she was like this because of my damn stupidity, I wasn't there to protect her, I wasn't there to help, I was an idiot.

We sat quietly for a good ten minutes before she finally broke the silence with a heavy sigh. She looked up at me with fear in her eyes, god I wanted to cry, she looked so scared, but scared of what? What I was going to say?

"Bella…" I started, but I didn't trust my voice to finish.

"Edward, maybe you should go" her voice cracking twice when she said it, but I didn't move, I wouldn't move.

"Ok" She said "Then do you mind telling me why you are here, because I was about to go out and hunt…"

Hunt? Dear god! My poor, fragile Bella hunt? She would be killed… Oh right, she wasn't human anymore… guess old habits die hard.

I took a shaky, unnecessary breath and started to talk in a fast haze of words, sure that she would catch them now.

"Bella, I just… I wanted to apologize for everything I did to you, and said to you, and all the suffering you went through because of me. I wasn't there to protect you from… whoever did this to you, I should have been there, I wasn't. Even if I couldn't have saved you, I could have been there to help you through it all. I will completely understand if you never want to see me again, or never want anything to do with me again, and of course, you have every right not to, you have every right to hate me. But I need you to promise me something, all I will ask from you is that you don't take this out on Alice or any of the others, because they had no choice in this. It was my stupid, idiotic mistake, please don't make them suffer for it. God I'm such an idiot!"

I was just rambling now, I put my head into my hands as the anger slowly started to wash over me. How could I have been so damn stupid as to leave her unprotected?

"You know…" I heard her whisper and I looked up into her eyes "You make it really hard to be mad at you when you do that…"

Wait, what?

"Do what?"

"Be all gentlemanly and stuff, you know, not wanting me to be mad at anyone else for your stupid, idiotic choice.

My hopes were slowly rising, maybe she would forgive, maybe we could be happy again, even if we were only friends, I could handle that, I just wanted her back in my life.

"So… does that mean you _do_ forgive me?"

"no" she stated simply.

Everything started to crash, my sudden high was very abruptly brought down and I felt myself falling into a black abyss. If Bella didn't want me, and couldn't forgive me, then I don't know what I would do. Of course, she has every right and reason not to, but I had still hoped.

"But…" she said quietly, catching my attention.

"I suppose I could talk to Alice, I mean I know she had no choice in all this, and I know she misses me like crazy, I could see that the other day, and honestly, I miss her too, I've missed my best friend so damn much in these past years. Maybe one day, if you can somehow earn my trust back again, I might forgive you, because for some stupid, idiotic reason, through all the pain and suffering, I still managed to love you, and I still do, but to act on that once again, well I'm not sure I can do that, I don't think my heart can take it."

Oh my god. After everything I did to her, she still loved me, was she insane?

"Ok" I said quietly walking towards her front door, I was sure that the pain was clear in my eyes but I didn't have the strength to put up the mask I had gotten so good at creating.

"Wait" She called after me, I stopped dead in my tracks, trying to stop the hope that was threatening to release itself and cripple me once again.

"I just need to know why… why did you leave me?"

"Because I was a fool Bella, because I thought by leaving you I was protecting you." I scoffed at my own reasoning.

"But… you said that you… you didn't want me" The pain was clear in her voice and she was trying to hold back a sob.

"I lied Bella, I had too, it was the only way you would let me go. For that I will burn in hell I'm sure, that was the darkest day of my life, and I'm sorry that I lied to you the way I did. Every minute I was away from you was spent thinking and hoping and praying for you. I never stopped loving you Isabella Marie Swan, and I never will, even if you can never be with me again."

And then I ran for the door, running until I reached the house. Alice was sitting outside waiting for me, she clearly had seen what was going to happen. she pulled me into a tight hug as the sobs racked my body.

After I regained my composure I looked down at Alice, her golden eyes shone with sadness, sadness for me.

"You can go see her if you want, at least one of us should be allowed back in her life"

Then I walked past her and into the house, I sat down at my piano and started to play her lullaby, before I broke down again entirely.

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	5. Chapter 5 Revised

**AN --**

**revised!**

**i think i like writing in Alice POV...**

**hmm.**

**Enjoy!**

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Alice POV

I had seen it, I'm not sure why I had seen it, because I can never seem to see anything else when it comes to Bella, but I knew what was going to happen, she was going to break his heart, all over again, but at the very least, I could see her again, maybe even have my best friend back; that would be nice. I was sitting on the front step waiting for him to return, I know he will need me, like he has so many other times before. Not that I minded of course, he is my brother and I love him so much, I would so anything for him. As I heard his footsteps approaching the house I stood, I couldn't help but notice; he wasn't as light on his feet as usual, oh god, this is worse than I thought.

Admittedly, I am closer to Edward than I am to Rose or Emmett, just like he is closer to me than he is to Rose, Em and Jazz. I guess that's to be expected though, I mean in this instance, we get each other, we both lost such an amazing love, and such a huge part of our lives, she was my best friend, my sister, he understands that, even though it's not the same level of love, its still a strong bond, one that shouldn't have been broken. We had always been there for each other though, through everything, but when we left her, well it seemed like I was stuck on support mode constantly.

We would often both be missing her, and all we would so is sit down together somewhere, just spending time together, whether it was talking, sitting in silence, reading, or other things, it didn't matter really, as long as we were together, and there for each other, eventually the pain would subside, subside, but never go away.

I was broken from my thoughts when I saw him emerge from the forest, making his way towards the house, his whole body is screaming in pain, and for the first time ever, he wasn't trying to hide it. He walked to the front step, where I was currently standing, I pulled him in for a tight hug, he looks broken, more than that even, he looked dead, and I'm actually kinda scared that he might not make it out of this one alive. I didn't let go of him until the sobs that were wracking his body had stopped and he slowly pulled back out of the hug.

He looked down at me, it breaks my heart to see him like this, I can't believe that Bella, the one thing that brought him true happiness could cause him so much pain. It doesn't seem fair, he has to go through this pain all alone, suffer in silence, I mean there is only so much I can do right?

I wanted to break down with him, to cry tearless sobs for the loss that had been forced upon us, even if it was kinda his fault, but I couldn't break, not now, because now he needed me more than ever, I had to be strong, for Edward.

"You can go and see her if you want, at least one of us should be allowed back in her life."

He started to walk past me into the house, and I wanted to reach out and stop him, to tell him it would all be ok, but I knew better than that now, I knew that would get me nowhere. I heard him sit down at the piano and started to play Bella's lullaby, I smiled sadly, it was such a beautiful song, so passionate and devoted, his exact feelings towards her, suddenly the music stopped and I could hear him, he had broken down again. I wanted to run in and hug him until he was ok again, but I heard someone else approach him, and then Jasper's calming voice.

Jasper could handle this, I had my own business to take care of, operation get best friend back is a go, hehe, I've always wanted to say something like that. Maybe if everything goes well I could try and convince her to give Edward another chance.

With one quick glance back towards the house, I raced off towards Bella's house, letting my senses guide me, I had nothing to go on but my vision of where Edward was going and his scent, which should lead me directly to her, unless of course he made a pit stop, which was very likely knowing him.

I was racing through the forest; suddenly I was in a clearing where a beautiful white house stood. Ok, so I'm starting to feel a little un-easy about this, I mean I know that Bella said that she was ok with seeing me again, but did she mean on the same day, it might be too much for her to take in. Well, I guess there is two ways to find out, I could go over to the door knock on it and see what happens, or I could be a coward and search the future and find out what happens.

Ok, so I'm a coward, sue me! I searched the future, nothing, damn it, it must be because I haven't made up my mind.

Ok, time for plan B, I go in blind and see where it gets me. I walked up to the door, getting ready to knock, and run if nesecary when I heard someone behind me.

"Alice?"

I know that voice! Bella! She was looking very apathetic, like she didn't want me to see what she was really feeling, or maybe she wasn't actually feeling anything, who knows. I, on the other hand, was grinning like an idiot, and when I say 'like an idiot', I actually mean my lovable idiotic big brother, Emmett. She shook her head at me and walked into the house, leaving the door open, as what I guess is an invite. We walked into a lounge area and she sat down on the couch, I sat on the chair opposite of her, still not being able to control my happiness.

"Would you stop smiling like that, you look like Emmett." She clearly meant it as an insult considering the sarcasm that was dripping from her voice, and I burst out laughing, I couldn't help it, I was just so happy.

I heard her mumble something along the lines of 'crazy little pixie' through my laughter, which honestly, made me laugh even more, she must think I am crazy right now.

I finally calmed down and we sat in silence for 10 minutes before it became to uncomfortable, and she finally spoke.

"So… I guess you saw what happened today"

How did she know I was going to see it? Did she have some sort of power or ability she wasn't telling me about?

"Yeah…" translation, I have no idea where you are going with this.

"Was he… I mean… is he… is he ok?" she finally got out quietly, on each other attempt he voice would crack.

Well that shocked me a bit, and it was clear on my face I was sure, was she really that worried about him?

"I do still care about him Alice, for some god forsaken, unknown reason, I do, please, just tell me he's ok, I need to know that he's ok."

"I…Bella… He's… absolutely heartbroken, all he wants is to have you back in his life, hell he would have accepted it if you cam back with a husband and a family of your own, as long as you were still his friend. You mean absolutely everything to him"

"Then why didn't he come back to check on me? Make sure I was ok…"

"He did Bella, but he didn't let you know – couldn't let you know, because if you had asked him to stay, he wouldn't have been able to refuse you, but then one day he cracked, he decided that he had to have you back, he couldn't live without you anymore, so he went to get you, but you weren't home. He followed Charlie's scent and found him at your grave. God Bella, what were we supposed to think? Em and Jazz had to restrain him several times just to stop him from going to Volterra. The pain from being away from you almost killed him."

There was a long silence, it wasn't really awkward, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either.

"He misses you like crazy Bella, we all do, even Rose does, well she misses how happy you made him at least."

"I… I don't think I can handle it Alice, I hated him so much, I hated all of you, I mean you left me to defend myself from Victoria, which I clearly failed at. You left me with a pack of young werewolves to protect me and nothing more. I blamed him for my loneliness and the misery all this time. How could I possibly let him back into my heart after that? To trust him after that?"

"I understand Bella, I really do, but please, maybe you could start with seeing the rest of the family, _your _family, you don't have to see him if you don't want too, no one is forcing you. But I know that Esme is dying to see you again, and Em has missed you like crazy, and I know that Jazzy loves the idea of being near you without worrying about killing you."

"Will he be there?"

"No, he's hunting"

She's caving, I just need something to push her over, convince her to come… what though?

She was very hesitant, and very tense, not that I could blame her at all, be we _are_ her family, even after 100 years, it's not like we ever stopped loving her.

"I don't know Alice"

"Aw please, don't make me beg"

Aha! she smiled, that's what I wanted, she's caving, she's caving – wow, she has a beautiful smile.

"You know what, I'll make you a deal, I'll go and see them, BUT, you can't drag me off shopping or make me so anything I don't want too for 6 months." her beautiful smile was now an evil smirk, damn her!

6 months, 6 whole months, well, I guess it isn't that bad, I mean I managed for 100 years, this should be easy, right?

"Fine, let's go!" I replied smiling, her face fell as I stood and started to walk out of the house, but she followed me anyway.

…………….

As we approached the house I heard a car coming up the driveway, no doubt it was Carlisle returning from work. Bella seemed to hesitate once again, and I grabbed her hand, dragging her to the front door. As I reached to open the door she stopped dead in her tracks, and oh my go, is she strong, I couldn't move her an inch… I guess this is how she felt with us when she was a human… ok, I can ponder later, now I have to get her into the house.

hmm, well if she wouldn't play fair, then neither would I.

"Emmett!"

As soon as I said his name he was at the door looking at me expectantly.

"Can you help me please?" I asked pointing to a very frozen Bella.

He looked from me, to Bella, and back to me again, I nodded slightly and he shrugged before hoisting Bella over his shoulder and carrying her into the house.

"Put me down you big oaf!" She was hitting his back in an attempt to make him put her down, she was also failing.

"Aw, come on Bella, where is the fun in that?"

We walked, while Bella struggled, into the kitchen where Rose and Esme were sitting at the table discussing new furniture, like usual. When you live with someone for over 100 years they all become so damn predictable. Emmett dropped Bella right on top of the table, Esme's favourite, antique table, which earned him a scowl from her. He sat down next to Rosalie grinning like a 5 year old who just tied his shoes for the first time, he looked truly proud of himself, idiot.

Bella sat up on the table glaring at Emmett, we all watched her carefully, trying to anticipate her next move, well all of us except Emmett who seemed to think Bella was funny when she was angry. She turned to him slowly and smacked him across the top of his head, the sound shook the house; it looked like it could have hurt a bit too. Emmett was sooking now, looking at Rose for some sort of comfort, but he got none, she was laughing at him.

Carlisle and Jasper came into the room, probably wondering what the noise was about, but they didn't say anything. Jasper was smiling politely at Bella, and Carlisle walked over to where Esme was sitting, standing behind her chair smiling at Bella.

Bella slid off the table carefully, before she spoke, while Emmett was cowering next to Rose again. I honestly don't think I have ever seen Em so damn scared.

"Now that's been dealt with… I guess you all have questions of sorts?"

Esme stood, walking over to Bella to pull her into a tight, motherly hug. I know how much Esme missed Bella, she was like another daughter to her, it must have hurt her a lot to leave, it's amazing how much one person could impact our whole family.

"It's so nice to see you again Bella"

After that everyone took turns hugging Bella and welcoming her back into their lives. I saw Jasper smile when he hugged her; I know he hated not being able to be as close to her as the rest of us because he didn't trust himself around her, at least now they could be friends. Rose was just after Jasper, I don't think anyone expected her to hug Bella or even acknowledge her, but she smiled and walked up and hugged her, saying how nice it was to have her back, that she completed this family. Well I was shocked.

After that the questions started, they had to at some point right? I mean we know nothing about what has happened in the last 100 years.

"Who did this to you" – Jasper

"Victoria" She replied with a sad smile.

Jasper just nodded his head in understanding.

"What happened to her then?" Carlisle asked this.

"The Quileute Wolves took care of her."

"Where did you go after that?"

"Denali for a while, then I started travelling on my own."

"Why did you come back to forks?"

"What are you going to do now?"

Then Emmett asked the one question that no one else was game enough too.

"So does this mean you and Edward are going to get back together?"

It was a fair enough question, and we had all been wondering about it surely, but she was still really upset about it all. It wasn't exactly Em's fault, he just wanted to know, and he didn't realise how upset she was, he didn't know how this stuff worked. All he wanted was to have his little sister back.

Sure enough, Bella's face fell entirely and she became very quite, she wasn't even breathing.

I looked up at her with a sad smile, trying to apologize with my eyes, I think she got the message.

"I think it's time I got home…"

Then she stood up and started to walk towards the door.

"It was nice to see you all again."

"Bella, wait" Esme tried to go after her, but she was stopped by Carlisle.

After she left everyone sat in silence, glaring at Emmett, we all knew it wasn't his fault, he just wanted to know, but he drove her away, and that was enough to be mad at him for a while… right?

After a while I think it got to him though.

"What did I say!? I just wanted to know, how was I supposed to know she would flip out?"

This got him a smack across the head from both Rose and me, a scowl from Carlisle and a glare from Jasper, and Esme, well she just looked at him with the saddest eyes I have ever seen.

"I just want my little sister back" he said quietly, sadly.

"You think we don't?" Jasper snapped back at him.

"Guys, Edwards about to come home, so I suggest you either cheer up or disperse."

God bless my visions.

* * *

**AN -- **

**i changed heaps in this one, **

**reviews = happiness.**

**:)**

**love, peace and all that crap**


	6. Chapter 6 Revised

**AN --**

**ok, so newly revised :)**

**Flashbacks suck more the second time you write them. ick!**

* * *

I ran out of the house as fast as I could, it was a plausible question sure enough, but one I didn't want to think of, well not yet at least. Poor Emmett, he was probably beating himself up about upsetting me, it's not like he meant anything by it, he was curious, and he didn't really think, I guess he didn't realise how fragile of a topic it would be for me. They were all sitting on the edge of their seats though, it was kind of scary, I didn't know what to do, so I did what I do best, I ran.

Pathetic right? Something goes wrong, what's the first thing to go through my head? Run, it seemed like the only option to me, run and never look back, ever since he left that's all I would do, I hated confronting things because it meant that I would end up hurt and alone all over again.

I had slowed to a walk, just strolling through the forest at my own leisure, thinking about everything when I bumped into something, luckily enough, that something managed to catch me before I stumbled to the forest floor, not that it would have hurt at all.

I looked up into the eyes of the cause of all this damn over-thinking, Edward, crap. But hey, I wasn't totally at fault here, I mean he obviously wasn't paying anymore attention than I was, because other wise he would have seen me… unless he did it on purpose so he could be close to me again, damn, over-thinking again!

I pulled out of his arms mumbling an apology, apparently, that mask I had gotten so good at wearing and putting up had crumbled, because he seemed to notice my stress and suddenly went into 'over-protective Edward' mode. If I wasn't so mad at everything right now I would be swooning over his attempts to recue me from my own patheticness, but I was and so it kind of annoyed me.

"I'm fine… I just… I gotta go"

I ran off towards my house before he could even think about responding, god I hated it, he acted like he owned me or something, I mean did he not think that the whole reason I was upset was because of him, how selfish could he get?

I reached my house, walking in and locking the door behind me, for some reason, thinking that it would keep him away if he had tried to follow me. Yeah, because a locked door is such a damn obstacle for a Vampire.

I walked over to the couch sitting down, thinking still, yes I realise that I do think a lot, probably a lot more than I should, but I couldn't just let him back into my life after what he had done to me, it would hurt too much, I would never be able to trust him again. I mean why wasn't he there, why should I trust him when he wasn't even there, to save me, to protect me, to help me? I was just another one of his toys, nothing more.

………………..

"_Bella you can't just leave" Tanya called behind me; I knew she was desperate for me to stay, although I hadn't quite figured out why yet, yet being the operative word though._

"_Why not? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go and find him"_

_I asked as the anger filled my voice, why was she trying to stop me, she was supposed to be my friend, she should understand why I want to go after him and see him again. I just wanted to see him again, to show him that I was like him now, that we could be together without him having to worry about anything anymore, and then if he still didn't want me, well, I would deal with that if it came. All I wanted though, more than anything was the love of my life back, that other half of me, I want the constant emptiness to be filled again, I miss him._

"_Because he always does this Bella, always!" She blurted it out, causing me to stop dead in my tracks, turning around to look at her._

_What the hell was she talking about, what does he always do? Fall in love with a pathetic human with whom all he ever wants to do is kill and eat her, then save her from a sadistic vampire whom also wanted to kill her, by sacrificing his sanity and sucking the venom out of her blood system so that she wouldn't turn into one of them because he loved and cherished her so much that he thought that by turning her it would mess with her fate and take her soul. Then when his sister throws her a party for her 18__th__ birthday, she paper cuts her finger which causes his brother to attack her and in an attempt to protect her, he ends up throwing her into a bunch of broken glass, which in effect, cuts her arm to bits, causing his dad to have to get the glass out and sew her up. Then a few days later he would leave her, is she trying to tell me they planned all of this? Was she high or something?_

"_Do what?" I asked warily, my voice laced with fear and concern._

"_He always finds some girl, claiming that he loves her, but then after a while, he gets bored, he will find some reason to leave them and then their family will move on, never thinking about the poor heart broken girl again. Trust me Bella, I know, because he did it to me too."_

_I remember Edward saying something about Tanya having a thing for him once, but, of course, with him being the perfect, beautiful gentleman that he is… or was… or pretended to be, he declined her politely, but maybe that was just a lie, his cover, I mean if I think about it, Tanya's story makes a hell of a lot more sense, right?_

_I looked up at her, and she seemed torn, like she wasn't sure if she should tell me this or not. I dropped my bags and sprinted out of the house, I didn't want her to see me like this, I didn't want her to think I was weak, because I had spent all this time with her proving to both of us that I wasn't. I kept running and running, not stopping until all the anger and sadness had drained out of my body, and all I felt was the numbness once again. _

_You know what, if that's how he wants it to be, if I really mean that little to him, then fine, I wont look for him, or any of the other Cullen's, I would be more than happy to never see any of them again. Ok so that's a lie, but no one else has to know that right? They had no right to do what they did to me, they dragged me along, giving me false happiness, hope, reason, and then they just dropped me. After everything I had done for them, everything I went through, they still had that nerve._

_AHHH!!!!_

………….

That was about 2 years after I was changed, and it was also when I had lost all faith and trust in Edward and the Cullen's. I was just a toy, right? All this time I would keep telling myself that, but it was just so damn hard to believe, the time we spent together was so amazing, and he acted like he really loved me, I mean how could he act that whole relationship, he couldn't. Besides, he's above that, he's a gentleman, even if he wasn't there for me when I needed him, but why wasn't he ever there? I guess it wasn't entirely his fault, I mean he didn't really know I was still alive.

………….

_I had people who would watch out for my parent's health, and warn me if there was a problem or something. I had requested that they don't tell me anything other than their state of health, merely because I was too weak to deal with anything else. If I heard about how happy they are, or if they were depressed or in trouble, the urge to see them again would be too much, and too painful._

_It was exactly 1:36 am, I had checked again for the second time that minute; time goes so slow when you have no one to spend it with and nothing to do with it, everyone else in my house were out hunting, or _'busy'_._

_I almost jumped when I heard my phone ring, I was so absorbed in my nothingness, that I was staring off into space in the dead silence, and the sudden noise startled me, pathetic right?_

_I pulled the devise out of my pocket. _

"_Hello?"_

"Hello, Ms. Denali?"

"_Speaking"_

"I am ringing in regards to your mother," _I braced myself, waiting for the unavoidable news._

"Sadly, she passed away earlier today, I'm very sorry." _he declared softly, sounding sad almost._

"_When is the funeral?"_

_He gave me the details of her funeral, telling me the time and where it would be held._

"_Ok, thank you." I replied apathetically before snapping the phone shut. I had known it was coming, there was only one reason they would ring me about my mother, and that was death. _

_I sighed in frustration, wishing with all my heart that tears would come, but of course they didn't. So instead I went for a very, very long run, by the time I got home it was sun rise._

…………………

_The funeral was outside in the sun – of course. My mother had always loved the sun, but sadly, it meant I had to be in the shadows._

_As I arrived I was shocked to see how many people there were, I didn't even think someone could know this many people, let alone my mother. Although I suppose she was always one for dinner parties and book clubs._

_I kept to the shade of a huge fig tree that was casting a nice shadow over the green grass. _

_People started to shuffle on and off the stage, saying nice things about my mother, and how she had influenced them in her life._

_Then there was one person who walked onto the stage who caught my attention more than the others. She was thin and pale, with brown eyes and long brown hair that cascaded down her shoulders, she looked much like I had when I was younger, except this woman was older. What where the odds that she was my sister? Well it wouldn't surprise me considering I knew nothing of my mother's personal life._

"_My Mother was an amazing woman," – Mystery solved I guess._

"_She fought many battles in her life, on of the hardest being losing her daughter – my sister, who sadly I never got to meet, but she always fought on. Some people believed she was one of the luckiest people alive, but I know better, because if she truly was so lucky, she would not have lost such a love as what a daughter is. But there were some times that she would get out of these messes, things that would seem impossible to get out of, without all that much harm. God, I remember one night she came home with a cut above her eye and bruises all over her body, she told me that she was being mugged at knife point, and when she refused to hand over her belongings, the man attacked her, but she had an angel watching out for her. I thought at first she was crazy, especially when she told me that it was her other daughter's ex-boyfriend. But then more and more would keep happening, if she needed money, she would some how get it, when she was in trouble, she would get out of it no matter what, it was amazing…"_

_Then she started going on about how hard it was for Renee to raise her and how she always pulled through, but I wasn't listening anymore, because my mind was running on overload. Edward Cullen had been here, looking after my mother, even after he left me, but why?_

_This woman, my _sister_, with what she had said, who else could it be? There are no other ex-boyfriends I know about, so who could it be? But why was he watching over her? It's not like he has any attachments to her. _

_This is ridiculous, this is not the time or the place to be thinking such things, people were starting to leave the funeral now, making their way back to their cars, so before I became noticed I headed off towards where I parked, keeping well to the tree line before jumping in a speeding off._

………………

I think that was when I had decided I needed a change of some sort, I needed to change my life, my identity, everything, because suddenly I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I needed to get away from it all, start over, again.

………………

_Moving sucks, not that I have had to do it too many times in my life – or existence – or whatever, but the times I had moved, it was always too permanent for my liking. I didn't like that I had to leave my family in Alaska, but it was a necessary part of the whole process, I needed to get my identity back, find myself again, and I wasn't going to find Bella Swan in Denali._

_So I moved, I guess I was just scared of losing myself up there, I didn't want to turn into one of them, and by that I don't really mean anything insulting, they're just not like me, and I don't want to suddenly change my whole personality because of the influences around me. I didn't like changing much, well not in myself, such as my personality, and as stupid as it may seem, it did scare me. So I did what I always do when I am scared, I ran._

_I ran to small town just outside of Forks. I thought that by being close to home it might help me adjust a little bit. Other than that though, it made me home sick, I would spend many nights sitting around wishing I was at home in my warm bed, Charlie down the hall and Edward next to me. _

_It hurt to think about him, just the thought of home hurt more than I could bare, but I couldn't help it at times. He was my inspiration after all. _

_I found this perfect, beautiful house outside of town, hidden by the forest, surrounded by trees and wildlife, and I finally felt at ease. I wasn't really sure where this house had came from, I mean it is in the middle of no where, but to be honest, I don't really think I want to know for sure, although I have a pretty good idea. I have never met the owners of the house, but I do know they were Vampires, what are the chances that it isn't the Cullen's house? Another place they had called home once. All the furniture was still in the house from the previous owner, and everything about the house screamed 'Cullen'. It was kind of hard to live with, especially seeing the beautiful grand piano that sat in the den just begging to be played._

_When I saw the house I knew it was exactly what I wanted, and I thought straight up that it might be the Cullen's, so I thought ahead, and rented it under a fake name… 'Izzy Mason' Why not?_

_I enrolled into the high school, which mid you looked smaller than Forks High, if that was even possible. The office people were really sceptical that I didn't seem to have parents, so eventually I had to start forging things and making fake phone calls and crap, stupid, idiotic, paranoid humans. _

_My first day at school was hell to say the least, with a school so small, the new girl always stood out, especially if she was different, and I did look fairly different to the other students. To say I was easy to look at since I was changed would be an understatement, as much as I hate to admit it. So I constantly had grimy, immature, smelly, idiotic boys come up to me using cheesy pick up lines like 'did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?' and my personal favourite, 'is your dad a cop, cause you got fine written all over you' at this one all I could do is laugh._

_There was one boy though, he just wouldn't let up, he couldn't take a hint, his name was Chris Rook, and seriously, he was like a puppy dog, he just kept following me all day, asking if he could carry my books and crap like that, trying to appear like a gentleman, but he was nothing compared to Edward. _

_Ouch, damn that aching in my heart, god I miss him!_

_After following me relentlessly for 3 hours and me ignoring him the whole time, he finally snapped. _

"_What the hell is your problem? I've been nothing but nice and you just keep ignoring me, just because your gorgeous doesn't mean you can treat people this way!"_

_I just smiled at him causing him to groan in frustration as I walked off towards my car. _

_I returned to school the next day and no one talked to me, and kept telling all their friends to 'stay away from the new girl, she doesn't like anyone' I smiled at this, it was exactly what I had wanted._

…………………

So I shouldn't have isolated myself so much, but what was I supposed to do when people started to realise that I didn't eat, and that my eyes changed colour constantly, or that when they came over I never slept and that I didn't have parents, I didn't need any suspicion, and with no one watching me, I didn't have to worry about it.

Besides, what's the point in trying to meet new people, I mean everyone that meant anything to me has either left me broken hearted, left me broken entirely, can't see me because of what I am, or hate me because of what I am, seriously, that isn't really very motivating.

……………..

_Dead… Charlie is dead… strange, it didn't seem right to say it, or think it. I always seemed to think that Charlie was somehow invincible, he just never seemed to be taken down, no matter what, I guess I was just expecting him to live forever and stay young and strong, pathetic right? And now he's… _dead_… and I am completely devastated and heartbroken… once again. _

_He had a heart attack, a heart attack! Of all the things that could have taken him down, that was one of the last ones I had ever expected, it seemed like he had given up way to easily._

_The funeral was generously being taken care of by the Forks Police Force, despite the fact the Charlie had retired years ago, they were the closest thing to family he had left, they knew that, I knew that, I guess it's nice to know that there was someone out there still keeping an eye on him._

_It was going to be held and the Forks Cemetery, which meant I could go and be seen, the only people that would be there that had a hope of recognising me is Jake and the rest of the pack, if any of them showed. God knows how old they would be or what would happen when they saw me there, but seriously, he was my dad, I have more right to be there than they do, right?_

_I parked next to one of the police cars and walked towards the service. There was a light tap on my shoulder and I turned around coming face to… well chest with Jacob Black. He hadn't aged much, he looked 25 at the most, and he had a little girl in his arms. I smiled at him sadly._

"_I know I shouldn't be here Jake, but what am I supposed to do, he's my dad for crying out loud."_

_He looked at me for a second, seemingly torn between his ex-best friend and the right thing to do, look's like I won. He leaned in and pecked me on the cheek before grabbing my hand and walking towards the service. We both kept to the back to avoid any attention. To be entirely honest, I didn't think Jake would even let me in, I thought he would chase me off straight away, I mean we were supposed to be natural enemies… but were we now? If he has aged then he hasn't phased, and if he hasn't phased does that mean we aren't enemies… gah! This is too confusing._

_I couldn't help but stare at his little girt, she is absolutely beautiful. She was so defiantly his; it screamed in her features, she looked just like him._

_People were going up giving their speeches about Charlie, when one of the older Police officers walked up. He started talking about how Charlie had an angel watching over him, and that he had gotten out of so many bad situations so easily. So Edward had been here too. Why would he care so much that he had to look after my parents, he had no right to do such a thing, he had no connection to me anymore, he left, it was his choice, so what the hell was he doing interfering?_

_The service had finally finished and I started to walk back to my car. I was just about to unlock the door when there was a light tug on my skirt. I looked down and saw Jake's little girl staring up at me with sad eyes._

"_Hey honey, where's your daddy?" I asked as I knelt down to her level._

"_He's visiting mommy, she's buried here too." She stated sadly, fiddling with the hem of her dress._

"_Oh…" I didn't know what to say to that, the poor girl, she was so young, it must be hard for her._

"_What's your name?" I asked trying to sway the conversation in another direction. Her face lit up instantly, it's amazing how quickly children could change their moods._

"_Isabella, my daddy named me after his favouritest person in the whole world!" she replied smiling hugely. _

_I smiled with her, how could I not? She was so beautiful, and she was named after me._

"_How old are you?" I asked curiously._

"_I'm 5 and ¾" She said smiling, holding up 5 small fingers._

_Then Jake came and picked her up, telling me that they had to go and expressing his sorrow for the loss of my father._

"_It was nice to see you again Bells"_

_Then he gave me a quick peck on the cheek and walked off towards his car while Isabella smiled waving to me over his shoulder. I smiled and waved back before getting into my car._

_I was smiling the whole way home, as stupid as it seems, I felt like I had part of my life back._

………………

That had hurt the most I think, he just left, he didn't say goodbye, and he didn't say we could ever see each other again, he left. At the time I was so happy that I had seen him and that he had named his little girl after me, but when I got home that night, it all sunk in.

I spent years trying to get over it, trying to block off the fact that I couldn't have anyone from my former, human life in this life. I felt like I had lost myself completely. So I left again, I moved, it was what I did, and eventually, I moved back to where it had all started, Forks.

………………

_Moving, again, it's starting to become a habit I think, I get scared; I move, I get bored; I move, I don't like my shoes; I move. So where to now you may ask? Well I'm going to go back to where it all started, beautiful Forks. I had grown to love it there when I was human, and now that I need the constant cover of clouds, I love it all the more. To be honest though, I wasn't sure why I wanted to go back to Forks, it just didn't seem right living anywhere else anymore._

_So I thought about it a lot, and I have decided to build my own house. I have been searching for a few days for the right place, somewhere in the forest, away from everything, everyone, than no one would have to know I even exist in their town. So I had finally found the perfect spot for my house, it was in a beautiful forest outside of Forks, just off the Cullen's forest. _

_I know it is probably stupid for me to build a house so close to their territory, but the chances of them coming back while I was here were very unlikely, right? But of course, to be sure I had to check all that out first, I made sure there was no one occupying their house or had been recently. I'm not entirely sure I was glad that there had been no one there since I last saw them, or if I was disappointed that they didn't come back for me._

_So back to this beautiful clearing that I was standing in, it was perfect for my little sanctuary, I had plenty of room for a big house, as well as a pool and a yard and whatever else I wanted. But I don't really need a pool because there is a river running through the clearing towards the north side, probably the same one that runs through the Cullen's property. _

_I quickly pulled out my cell while walking around the clearing making mental blueprints on what could go where. This is one thing I defiantly can't do on my own, I would need help, and this is a job for me and my family. _

"Hello?" _I heard the familiar voice of my closest friend and sister in all the right ways._

"_Tanya, I need some help with something, do you think you guys could all come down to Forks for a couple of days?" _

"Sure hon, where can we meet you?"

"_Um… at the old Cullen house I guess… When will you get here?"_

"We can be there by tomorrow morning."

"_Great thanks Tanya"_

_The line went dead, and I closed my phone tucking it back in m pocket. I was a bit apprehensive to go back to the old Cullen house, I had so many memories there, but there was no where else we could meet, if we met in town people would have noticed us, and that is the last thing we need. _

_I would have to be ok to go back to the house, I _will_ be ok, I have to be, because if I'm not, it means they beat me, and I am not about to let that happen, I will never let them beat me. _

_The next morning I pulled up at the Cullen house, knowing full well that Tanya wouldn't be here yet, I was fairly early, but it didn't matter, because there was something I had to do first, something I had to prove to myself._

_I walked up to the front door slowly, hesitantly, the closer I got the more the door looked like a black hole waiting to suck me in and leave me in the dark to suffer in pain for the rest of my life, but I kept walking. I stood on the front porch as all the memories of the past bombarded me; it was almost too much to bear. I hated them for this, I hated that they could make me so happy, like I finally had something to live for, and then rip it out from right under me, tearing my heart out in the process._

_I approached the door, which had suddenly turned into a monster with huge teeth waiting for the right moment to rip my head off. I reached for the door handle, slowly turning the knob, which to my surprise was unlocked. I opened the door and my senses were invaded with their smell, but mostly his smell. I slammed the door shut quickly, unable to go any further. _

_What was I thinking? How stupid could I get? I couldn't go in there, it would kill me. I had spent the past 96 years trying to get past it, past them, and finally I am numb to them, and I want to walk through the threshold of my pain, god I'm an idiot. Although, it was almost worth the pain that I now felt just to smell him again._

_Then I heard an approaching car, and suddenly I was really paranoid that it would be the Cullen's, even if they had no way of knowing I was here, thanks to the beauty of my power. But what if I had slipped up and Alice had seen me, and they were coming to get me off their territory. _

_I saw Tanya's green car pull into the driveway, and I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding. I walked over to her as she got out of the car, wrapping my arms around her in a welcoming hug; I had missed her so much. _

_After we had all greeted and hugged, we caught up for a bit before I started off towards my clearing, which was now covered in building supplies, which I had brought the previous day, and transported by a truck before carrying them through the forest on my own, not that it was much of a struggle or anything. We had everything we needed; this will be done in no time, I even have all the furniture I need waiting in storage._

……

_The house only took 4 days to build, decorate and furnish, then we had a day off to relax and catch up, then on their last day we cleared a driveway through the forest, so not to draw too much attention. It was much like the Cullen's driveway, easy to miss if you didn't know where it was, and long and windy._

……

_After living in Forks for 4 years, I had decided that I should go to school, and then after I graduate again, I can drop off the face of the earth again, as far as they all know. The only reason I am even bothering is because I'm starting to get board during the days._

_So I enrolled into Forks High for the second time in my existence, and decided, just to humour myself, I would do all the same classes I had when I was here previously. Although, admittedly, my decision probably has something to do with the fact that Edward took most of those classes too, but there was one difference in my timetable, I was going to do music this time._

_Everything about Forks high reminds me of Edward and the Cullen's, which is generally a bad thing to do, but this time there was a sort of comfort about it, like his presence is still here, which is ridiculous, but it was comforting none the less. _

_My first day was much like others I had encountered, boys would hit on me, and there would be one that would follow me like a lost puppy, I would ignore him, he would get mad, and then no one would want to talk to me. _

……………

Everything was great before they came back, I was happy, I had a routine, and now I was faced with one of the hardest decisions I might ever have to make. But what was I going to do about it? I mean I couldn't leave them hanging on the line forever, surely after a while they would get sick of waiting.

If I let him back into my life, chances are, he would only end up hurting me again, and maybe next time, I couldn't come back from it, but that all seemed worth it, just to be happy with him, if only for a little while.

No, before I decide anything I need to know if what he is saying, what he is promising is the truth. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

God, how did I get into this mess?

I need help, a reliable unbiased source, but the only person I can get it from is at the Cullen house, where the rest of them are, including Edward.

I jumped into my car and raced towards the hospital, I would talk to Carlisle when he got back, which knowing him, wouldn't be too long. I just need closure from someone that was there, someone who knows the truth, hell, I would even go to Rosalie if I had too.

I wasn't waiting long before I saw Carlisle's black Mercedes. I got out of my car and walked towards him, he was getting some stuff out of the trunk of his car, so I waked over next to him, grabbing two of the boxes he was taking in. He looked over at me shocked but then smiled in recognition when he saw me.

He led me through the hospital corridors, walking past room after room, and a few fuzzy memories came back of when I was in here; when I was almost squished from Tyler's car, then when I fell off the Bike and cut my head, and so many other little things, and I laughed quietly to myself.

We reached an office door which had a sign on it that read 'Dr. Carlisle Cullen'. He smiled at me before he opened the door and led me in. He put the boxes down in the corner and I copied him, putting the boxes down. He turned to me curiously.

"So what can I do for you today Bella?"

* * *

**AN -**

**So what do you all think? Reviews make me smile :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN --**

**ok so more flash backs - yay!  
seriously, i hate writing flashbacks, its so much work, and im so lazy :)**

**sorry it took so long, but there was alot to put into this chapter.**

**Enjoy**

**Disclaimer - dont own it... yet!**

* * *

EPOV

I sat on my couch listening to some music, but I wasn't really paying all that much attention to it. I wonder what had Bella so upset that she would just ignore me and run off. Well, she didn't exactly ignore me, but she might as well have.

I just wanted to make sure she was ok, I hated seeing her upset or angry, it made me sad.

……………

_I knew I should have just left well enough alone, left Bella to get on with her life, but how could I? She was my everything, my life, my love, my soul, the one person whom I had envisioned the rest of my life with. It would only be every now and then right? Just to make sure she is still safe and happy._

_I climbed up the wall and into her open window… why was her window open? She only ever left it open if she wanted me to come in for the night. I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of her room, watching her sleep like I had many times before._

_She was so quiet and peaceful, which was nothing like my Bella, usually she would talk in her sleep, and roll around, but tonight, there was nothing. I sat watching her for 3 hours before something happened. She called out my name in her sleep. I smiled sadly to myself, she was still dreaming about me after everything. _

"_No Edward, wait, come back!"_

_She was crying now, salty tears running down her cheeks and I felt the pain wash through me like it had the day I left her. But this time it was worse, she was unhappy because I left her, 4 months along, and she was still unhappy and missing me even. _

_She had started tossing and turning in her bed. The crying, now not just silent tears, but also broken sobs, while she kept repeating my name over and over again._

_It was at that point my resolve was about to crumble when she shot up in her bed and screamed. I quickly moved from the chair into the closet right next to it, waiting for her to go back to sleep. Then the door to her room opened and Charlie walked in, turning on the light._

"_You ok?"_

"_Yeah, bad dream again, sorry dad."_

"_Ok, night"_

_And then he just walked out, like this was happening every night, but it wasn't, was it? I mean it couldn't be. I looked to Bella, seeing her lying on the bed in a ball with fresh tears running down her beautiful face. I wanted so badly to go over to her and comfort her, but I knew I couldn't. _

_If I walked out of this closet and comforted her, I don't think I could ever leave again, it was already going to be hard enough, but it had to be done. She would get over me eventually; some things take time that's all._

_Soon enough Bella had cried herself to sleep. I slipped out of her closet and out of her open window running off into the night._

………………

It hurt so much not to be able to reach out and touch her, all I wanted to do was comfort her, but I knew I couldn't without having to stay with her, I didn't have to strength to walk away again. I guess it would have been better if I did stay with her.

………………

_I missed my Bella so much and I had finally decided that it was time to go and get her back; I couldn't stand living without her anymore. I sped through Forks wanting to get to her house as fast as I could. I would knock on the door and talk to Charlie about it first, and then I would talk to Bella, and I would do anything to get her to forgive me and to take me back._

_Well almost anything… I would beg, I would grovel, and I would prove myself in no matter what. Unless she had moved on, in which case I would leave her alone and never bother her again. _

_The first thing I noticed when I pulled up was that Charlies car was gone. Ok, well it looks like I might have to skip Charlie and move onto Bella, I could do that, I would just have to talk to Charlie later, right?_

_I walked up to the front door and knocked loudly twice. Nothing. I tried again. KNOCK, KNOCK. Nothing still. Maybe she was asleep. I walked around to the side of her house, and stared to climb up to her bedroom window. It was open so I stepped in to find it empty of Bella, her scent was everywhere, but it was weaker then it usually was, like she hadn't been here in a while. _

_I lay down on her bed pulling one of her pillows over my head relishing in the smell that I had missed so much. The burn that came to my throat was welcomed and praised and I inhaled as much of her scent as possible._

_I decided I would go out and find Charlie; I walked outside of the house and picked up on his scent, following it through the town. It then started to lead outside of town and I picked up my pace wondering where on earth he could be. Then I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw his police car, it was parked outside the cemetery. There was a small crowd of Bella's family and close friends crowding around a grave. _

_I walked up to them to see whose grave it was, and to see if my Bella was there. Jessica Stanley saw me coming and stepped aside to let me in. I nodded my head at her and looked to see whose name was written on the stone._

'_Isabella Marie Swan – Beloved Daughter and friend. RIP'_

"_No!" I said a little too loudly. Everyone looked over to me and I stared back at them hoping it was all a cruel joke._

"_Edward?" I heard Charlie's gruff voice ask._

"_I… She… NO!"_

"_What are you doing here Edward?" I heard Renee ask lightly._

"_I came back, I missed her too much, I love her and I came back for her, but she, and I'm…"_

_I ran off into the forest at human speed then and as soon as I was out of sight I started to sprint at full speed. _

_I went back to the swan residence and went up into her bedroom again. On the floor was the blue blouse that I loved on her, she always looked so good in it. I picked it up and smelled it, it still smelled of Bella. I then walked over to her night stand where the locket she would always wear was sitting._

_She loved that locket, more than anything. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. And with one last miserable glance at what was left of her I jumped out of the window and walked over to my car._

_I put her blouse on the seat that she would always sit in and started up the car leaving it all behind._

……………..

If only I was there for her, I could have protected her, I could have stopped everything. But now I know at least, that it wasn't my fault she had died, and even though she is un-dead, at least she is still living in some form.

……………

_I knew this was going to be hard, no one would want to hear about Bella, and I'm sure that they would all blame themselves or me for it, or just us leaving in general. The one reaction I was looking forward to the least was Alice's. She always told me that without us Bella would just wind up getting herself killed. But she never saw it, she just guessed, and she guessed right._

_I pulled up at the house that my family were currently staying at. I know they would be surprised to see me, I didn't spend much time with them anymore, I didn't like having them around when I was so depressed because I knew it affected them too._

_I stepped out of my car and was greeted at the door by Carlisle and Esme. They both looked delighted to see me, but once they anticipated my mood, both of their faces fell. I had told the family that I was going to go back to Bella and that I would come back and tell then what had happened, but I don't think anyone had expected what I had seen._

_I walked past them into the house and into the lounge room._

"_Can everyone come here please?"_

_The second I said it, everyone in the house was standing in front of me. Jasper tried to calm the room down, everyone was very nervous and I smiled at him slightly, thanking him for the effort._

"_Ok, so you all know I went back to see Bella, but unfortunately, all I managed to see was a gravestone… Bella's dead." I said the last word with a very shaky voice, I was so close to losing it, but I didn't want to lose it in front of my family. _

_So I took in a deep breath to try and calm myself, it only worked a little bit, or maybe that was Jasper again, I wasn't sure. _

_Surprisingly, Emmett was the first to speak._

"_She's… Dead? She can't be"_

"_Em, I saw it with my own eyes. Charlie and Renee and all of Bella's friends were at her grave. The stone read 'Isabella Marie Swan – Beloved Daughter and friend RIP.' I saw it all Em."_

"_No…" she was so quiet I almost couldn't hear Alice. She walked out of the room and Jasper went to follow her. _

"_Jazz, I'll go."_

_He just nodded to me giving me a pat on the back as I walked past him. _

_I found Alice Sitting on a rock near a river in the forest. She was staring into the water._

'_I told you' I heard her say in her mind, and I couldn't help but think she was right. She had told me not to leave her, she had warned me that something bad would happen, and clearly it had._

"_Alice… I'm sorry."_

_She turned to me with such sadness in her eyes; I knew if she could cry, she would be, as would I. _

"_Don't be, you did what you thought was right, we had no way of knowing."_

"_But I should have been there, I should have been able to save her. I know I could have, even if I had to change her, I could have done something at least!"_

_She pulled me into a tight hug._

"_Don't Edward, I know you naturally blame yourself for everything, but just stop ok? This isn't your fault, you didn't know, I didn't know and I should have, but this isn't either of our faults ok? It was fate; clearly it was how it was meant to be."_

_I looked at her pleading with my eyes that she would say something, anything to make the pain go away, but all she did was hold me tighter humming Bella's lullaby to me. _

"_I'm here for you Edward, but that's all I can offer. I'll always be here when you need me, but I can't take the pain away, I can't make it stop hurting. But instead I can hurt with you. We both lost a love here Edward, and we can both suffer together, its better than being alone at least."_

…………..

Alice and I had always been close, but that was the start of a whole new level of closeness for us, after that we would be together all the time, talking, or even just sitting there remembering Bella, well when I was around at least.

………….

_I was checking up on Renee again, I had made a habit of this it seemed, I would often find myself checking in on them, making sure that they had everything that they needed, and if not I would find a way to get it too them._

_I knew it was stupid, but it was the only way I could hold onto my Bella, my beautiful, magnificent, loving, dead Bella. But I had grown attached to Renee; she was so free and alive, even in her now older age. She was 56 and still having as much fun as ever, if not more. Although, unfortunately, that also meant she was still getting herself into trouble all the time, now I understood where Bella had gotten it from._

_Renee was out doing her shopping and I was following her in the alleys, making sure I was there if she needed me, of course usually I would follow her out in the open so I seemed less mysterious, but it was a very sunny day today. I wasn't paying attention and before I knew it she had disappeared. I searched around for her in panic wondering where she could have gone. Then I heard a scream from an alley near by._

_I ran at top speed, reaching her in seconds, I stopped before they could see me, so that I wouldn't expose myself. As I saw the scene in front of me, I felt the anger swell up in my body. This stupid, punk teenager was trying to rob her, it was sick! Suddenly he backhanded her and she fell to the ground, he went to grab her purse but she reached out and grabbed it before he could._

_For this she earned a kick in the ribs, and that was all I could watch. I walked over to him, pulling him away from her and punching him square in the jaw. I had to restrain myself so much just to make sure I didn't hit him enough to kill him, but I knocked him out cold. I pulled out my cell from my pocket dialling 911 and explaining things to the police and telling them where he was before I turned to Renee._

_She had a small cut just above her right eye which was bleeding like mad. I held my breath, not really worried about my control, but still not trusting myself enough to be able to breathe freely. I ripped off one of the sleeves on my shirt and used it to try and stop the bleeding at her head. I then helped her up as she stared at me with wide, confused eyes._

_I searched her mind to see what she was thinking, only to see an image of Bella and I at the hospital after the James incident. I just smiled at her as I heard the sirens of the police approach._

_When they got there I gently leaned Renee against the wall, making sure that she wouldn't fall before I walked off into the darkness of the alley. I decided that the wound above her eye was enough that even if she did tell the police what she thought about me, they wouldn't believe her._

_I stayed in the alley, keeping to the back shadows so no one could see me, making sure that Renee was taken care of properly, then when she was taken off to hospital to be looked at further I pushed off from the wall I was standing against and made my way out of the dark alley, into the town which was now darkened by the blanket of night._

……………

I held on so tight to anyone who was close to my Bella, it was one of the only ties I had left to her, what else was I supposed to do, I couldn't just leave it, I knew that they would both get into trouble without Bella around, neither of them were really all that independent, they relied on Bella to help them and give them strength.

……………

"_Good Day sir, how may I help you?" The man at the bank window asked._

"_I need to talk to your manager" I replied handing the man a $50 note._

"_Right away, sir" He replied walking off and tucking the money into his pocket._

_An older man walked out who looked slightly annoyed._

"_What can I do for you Mr…."_

"_Cullen" I replied with a knowing look._

"_Cullen?" he asked a bit amazed_

"_Yes, I believe we have an account here at your bank."_

"_Yes, yes you do, please come into my office so we can talk."_

_We walked into a rather bland looking room. It had a desk, on one side of the desk there was a bit black leather chair, and on the other side there were two small plastic chairs. Next to his desk was a filing cabinet, but that was all in the room. I turned to him raising an eyebrow._

"_Please Mr. Cullen, take my chair, you don't want to sit on one of these crappy things do you?"_

_I smiled at him politely and took his seat while he sat in one of the 'crappy things'._

"_Now what can I help you with today Mr Cullen?"_

"_I'm here to discuss Charlie Swans Mortgage." I started, "I want to pay it off for him entirely and a little extra and you are going to tell him that everything was a huge mistake and that he doesn't have to worry about it anymore. Got it?"_

_He just nodded his head dumbly. _

"_Good now, how much does he owe the bank"_

"_Mr. Cullen, you can't be serious, Mr. Swan owes a lot of money." _

"_How much?" I asked getting slightly annoyed. He wrote the figure down on a piece of paper. I glanced down at it and then started to write the amount plus $4000 extra on a check for the bank. I signed it and went to hand in over to the manager, just when he was about to grab it I pulled it back._

"_Ring Charlie first, and don't tell him anything about me."_

_I picked up the phone and dialled Charlie's number handing the phone over to the manager. _

"Hello?"

"_Hello Mr Swan?"_

"Yes…"

"_This is John Christen from the Bank."_

"Look I already told you people, I can't get that kind of money!"

"_Yes, that's why I am ringing. I am the manager and I was going through some files when I noticed yours, and I thought that something wasn't right with it, so I followed it up and noticed that you had already paid off your mortgage, so you don't need to worry about it any more, it was all a big mistake."_

"Really?"

"_Yes sir."_

"Well, thank you then."

"_Ok, bye Mr. Swan."_

_And then the line went dead. The bank manager smiled up at me and I handed him the check, walking out of his office, and out of the bank._

_I was smiling all the way to my car. I know I shouldn't have interfered but what else could I do? I had been watching Charlie go bankrupt for months now, I had to do something. And now he could be happy and not have to worry about finances. Money was one of those things that I didn't need, and didn't mind giving away, if it happened again, I would give him the money again. And if he ran out of money, I would find a way to give some more to him._

………….

Carlisle kept telling me not to get attached, because humans were so fragile, but I did, and like all other humans, they had an end.

…………

_I was making my way towards the tree line at Renee's funeral. It had been requested that it was outside in the sun, during the day. So of course I couldn't show myself. Everyone was starting to walk up onto the stage giving a speech about how Renee influenced them and what she meant to them and how they would all miss her dearly._

_There was a slight breeze that day, and suddenly it blew directly into my face and a smell hit me. It was so familiar, and yet so unknown. It reminded me of Bella, sweet and floral, she always had a very floral scent. _

_But it couldn't be Bella, because Bella was dead, I went to her funeral as well. _

_Then a lady walked up onto the stage, she looked a lot like Renee, as she started talking I figured that this was Renee's daughter. I had seen her before a few times with Renee, but I never knew it was her daughter. She was so much like my Bella, the way she held herself and the slight clumsiness in her step. It almost hurt to look at her._

_She had the same reddish-brown hair that my Bella did and her eyes were the same brown, in fact now that I thought about it, she didn't just look like Renee, she looked a lot like my Bella, but she was so different still, Bella had a lot of Charlie in her where as this woman clearly didn't. She started to talk about how her mother had an angel to watch over her and I smiled sadly at the thought. _

_Ever since my Bella had died, I had clinged onto any mortal connection there was to her, which basically meant her mother and father. It wasn't that I felt obligated to do such a thing, it was merely because they were all I had left of her. _

_Then that smell hit me again, and I tried to work out who it was coming from, but it wasn't coming from someone in the audience who was grieving over Renee's death, no it was coming from somewhere behind me almost. I turned around to see if I could find the scent, but suddenly it was gone, and so was the person it belonged too._

………………

But I was closer to Charlie than I was to Renee, because Charlie reminded me so much of Bella, and if it wasn't for him living in Forks and taking in his daughter to live with him, I wouldn't have ever met her.

…………….

_I had been there when Charlie died, you should have seen the look on his face. I walked into the hospital room with Alice by my side. Charlie looked over to us with a shocked look on his face._

"_Edward, Alice?" he asked, his voice raspy. It was very clear that he was close to the end, so very clear that it almost hurt. I had grown attached to Charlie over the years, he and Bella were so alike, and he was the last link I had to her, I didn't want to let that go, and I didn't want to see Charlie die. _

_But Alice had had a vision, and she told me how scared he would be, so we came here to help him move on and let go of this world._

"_Hello Charlie." Alice said quietly smiling sadly. I picked up his chart and looked at it._

"_What are you two doing here? And how are you still so young? It looks like you haven't aged at all." he was starting to panic._

_Alice went and sat on the edge of his bed and put here small hand on top of his. _

"_Charlie, I know you're scared of dying, but we're here to help you let go. We have been watching over you for a while now, and it's time for you to let go. You will be going to a better place, a place with Bella, and I'm sure she is waiting for you. It's ok to be scared, but you need to let go, you'll be in a better place." She whispered. _

_He looked up at her with fear in his eyes, and then over to me. _

"_Thank you, both of you."_

_And then his eyes closed and we heard his hearts final beat before he left this world forever. We both walked out of the room quickly, knowing that staff would be there in seconds because the machines were going off. _

………_.._

_And now I was at his funeral, standing amongst the trees again, knowing that it was too dangerous to show myself again, because chances are, a lot of these people knew me. _

_There was a sudden tap on my shoulder and I turned to see Alice standing there smiling sadly. _

"_I'll always be here for you, don't forget that."_

_The service started and people started going up on the stage telling stories about Charlie. And someone said how he had an angel watching out for him, and I smiled at this, because just like with Renee, I had been there for him, but unlike Renee, I helped him, I was there when he took his last breath._

_It was an overcast day, but it wasn't raining, although there was a lot of wind, which isn't all that strange for Forks. Then it hit me, it was the same scent that was at Renee's Funeral. I looked over towards Alice to see if she had noticed it too, and she was standing there with wide eyes. She then turned and ran off into the forest, I ran off after her, wondering why she would so that._

"_Did you smell that?"_

_I just nodded my head._

"_God, it smelled so much like her, but so different, I… what was that? Who was that?"_

"_I wish I knew, whoever it was, they were at Renee's funeral as well."_

"_What if it was her?"_

"_It couldn't be, Bella's dead Alice…"_

_Alice started to search the future looking for any sign of Bella, but failed._

"_I guess you're right."_

………………..

After they had both died I had a lot more trouble dealing with things, I didn't have anything left to cling too, so what was I supposed to do? I had nothing, no one.

………………

_It had been 50 year, 50 years since I had seen the love of my existence. That night in her room, god, if I had only known it would be the last chance I could get to see her, to touch her, to smell her. I can't take it anymore. I just can't._

_She was my everything, my life, the air I breathed, her intoxicating smell kept me alive, the beautiful blush that would creep upon her cheeks kept my dead heart beating. And now, now it was all gone, and I had nothing. _

_So what reason was there for my life? If I had no Bella, then what was my purpose?_

_Death was all that was left for me. Death was the only way I could be with her again. I don't believe there is an afterlife for my kind, but maybe, just maybe, my love for Bella will be strong enough to break through that so that we could be together again. _

_I wasn't thinking anymore, I was walking but I wasn't sure where I was going._

_Then I saw something in Alice's mind. Me, Volterra, death. Well, it would have been a good plan while it lasted, maybe I could get away without her doing anything, maybe she would pity me and let me stop my suffering once and for all. _

"_EM! JAZZ!" I heard her call in a worried voice. They both came running down the stairs and looked at her worriedly. _

"_Stop him!" she said pointing to me. I started to run for the door but Emmett tackled me pulling me up. I tried to struggle out of his grasp but Jasper was helping him hold me back. I knew that I couldn't get out of this, not with both of my brothers up against me. So I stopped and let them drag me upstairs to my room where they threw me on the floor and walked out looking confused._

_Then Alice walked in and closed the door behind her._

"_Why?"_

"_Because I'm miserable, because it hurts so much all the time, everything I do, see, think, smell, it all reminds me of her. It hurts for me to live, so why can't I just stop my suffering, is it really that selfish?"_

_She just pulled me into a hug and showing me all the good times she and Bella had in her mind. At first it hurt to think about her, but then a warm feeling came over me as I watched my Bella laugh and have fun, she was alive again. _

_And then I realised what Alice was doing. As long as I thought about her, she would still live. She could live in my memory, forever, it might not be as good as the real thing, but it's the best I can do._

…………………..

Alice, she was always there, whenever I didn't know what to do, she would help me.

I walked down the hall towards the room that she and Jasper shared. I knocked on the door lightly and I heard Jasper call me in. He was sitting at the floor with his legs spread and Alice sitting between them, lying back on his chest.

He smiled up at me lightly and Alice looked up from the magazine she was reading.

"Can I talk to you Alice?"

She jumped up from the floor, giving Jasper a quick peck on the lips and then started to walk down stairs, I followed her out to the river where she sat on the edge on a rock, letting her legs dangle in the water.

"What's up?"

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**An --**

**ok so i refuse to write anymore flashbacks, seriously.**

**review please and make me happy :)**

**next chapter up as soon as i get around to it - life pretty crazy at the moment. **

**:)**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN -- Ok so this is continued from Chapter six :)**

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"_So what can I do for you today Bella?"_

There was so much I wanted to ask him, so much I needed to know, but where would I start, form the beginning maybe?

"Everyone keeps telling me how sorry they are and how much Edward went through when he left me, but they are all pretty biased, I was wondering if you could straiten things out for me."

He walked around to the chair on one side of the desk and pointed to the chair opposite him, he waited for me to sit down before he started.

"Ok, well I'm sure what they were telling you was all the truth, they have no reason to lie. When Jasper attacked you at your party it was sort of like a turning point for him. Being around us was always so dangerous and it was hard for him to have to protect you from his own family. Edward's mind works very differently to ours, if something goes wrong, he doesn't look for a way to fix it straight away, he blames himself first, and then makes it his Duty to fix it.

"He blamed what he was for the fact that you were always in danger, he never stopped to look at how much joy he brought you, only the pain, and that was hard for him. He loved you enough to only want you to be safe and happy and have a chance at a real life, the kind of life he did not get to live.

"He thought by leaving you he was giving you a gift, the gift of safety and happiness, but it killed him to leave you. He left us then too, he didn't want to be around his family, he didn't want to have to share the burden of his feelings with us.

"He went out on his own for a while, he would stop in on us every now and then, but not to often. Then one day he came back and said he was going to check on you, see that you're ok. I don't know exactly what happened that night, but he was in your room and something you said or did while you were sleeping made him snap.

"He came back and stayed with us then, he was too tired to try and leave again and tend to his 'distractions' all he did was sit in his room, or at his piano playing your lullaby over and over again. He would hardly hunt, not until he was so exhausted and weak that he had too. It hurt to see him like this, it was unbearable to see him be so happy and then have it all disappear.

"Then one morning he came bounding down the stairs with a huge smile on his face. He was laughing and mucking around with the boys, it was great, but we had no idea where it had come from. When I asked him what had made him so happy he simply said 'I'm going to go and get her back'. He left 2 hours later for Forks."

"But… he never came to me"

"He did, but you weren't there dear, he went into your room and checked the house, he then followed Charlie's scent to the graveyard, where your mother and father were, and a few of your friends, they were all crowded around your grave stone. He came back and told us the next day that you were dead."

I was shocked, he had come back to get me, to tell me how much he loved me, and I wasn't even there.

"After that he was always so depressed, sometimes I was worried that if he were to get any sadder something bad might actually happen to his mental health. He missed you so much all the time. There were even a few times that we had to restrain him to stop him from going off to Volterra."

I gasped slightly at the word.

"So, what everyone keeps telling me, that he did love me all this time, that he was trying to protect me, it was true?"

"Yes, and he is so eager to have you back in his life."

"But… how can I trust him again after that? I mean he left me for 100 years, whether he thought I was dead or not, I lost complete faith in him, everything he said to me was a lie in my mind, how can I erase that and love him again?"

"Well, maybe you don't start with love, maybe you start with Hello."

I started to think about it, I knew I still loved Edward, but I didn't know how to love him anymore.

"Start with hello?" I asked unsure of what exactly he meant.

"Yes, just talk to him, catch up on what you have missed in the past, and then see where that takes you. He would be happy to have you back in his life no matter what Bella, he loves you with all he has, and I know he would be happy just being your friend."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I said as I stood.

"Anytime, my dear."

I walked out of the hospital and towards my car.

_Just start with Hello. _Maybe I will do that.

I started the car and made my way to the Cullen house.

…………..

I pulled up in the driveway and was greeted by an over excited pixie standing at my door. She opened it and pulled me out, dragging me up to the house. For someone so small, she was very strong, like unbelievably strong. She was bouncing while she walked.

"Whoa, calm down Alice"

She just grinned at me evilly.

"Oh god, what do you have planned?"

I walked into the lounge room with her and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Rose and Emmett on a twister mat in a very compromising, and uncomfortable looking position, Jasper was sitting on the couch laughing at them with the spinner in his hand.

"Edward!"

Alice called, as he started to walk down the stairs. He smiled at me and then looked over to Emmett and Rose and started laughing.

"Whose stupid idea was this?" He asked looking directly at Alice.

Everyone in the room pointed at Alice and then Rose who was situated over the top of Emmett lost it and collapsed on top of him, taking him down with her. The room erupted in laughter once again, and it was nice to be happy and having fun with them all again, I had missed them.

"My turn! My turn! My turn!" Alice was jumping up and down on the spot then she got up and pulled Jasper to the mat handing Rose the spinner. Rosalie sat down on the couch and span the spinner.

"Right hand Red" They both put their right hands on red. I walked over near the mat and sat down on the floor away from it so that I wouldn't be used as a landing mat when one of them fell.

I looked up to see Edward standing where he was before with a look of indecision on his face. So I smiled at him and patted the ground beside me. He sat down and smiled at me as we watched the couple playing on the mat.

After a few hours I was getting bored, neither Jasper of Alice had fallen. I grabbed Edwards hand and pulled him up with me, and then I walked us up the stairs towards his room.

We walked into his room and I closed the door behind me, then I went to his CD player and turned the music on.

"Sorry, I was bored."

He just smiled at me.

"Ok, here's the deal, I talked to Carlisle, and although I don't think I can trust you with my heart again, well not yet at least, it doesn't mean we can't be friends does it?"

He just shook his head.

"Right, so I thought we could hang out up here and catch up, or whatever."

"Ok" was the only reply I got.

"Ok…"

There was an awkward silence. I sighed and plopped down on his couch.

"Why can't this be easy?" I asked annoyed

"When has anything been easy with us?" He countered, and he had a point, things were never easy for us.

One minute everything's great and it's like we were made for each other, and then the next it's like we're Romeo and Juliet again. There is always something in the way, always something stopping us, so maybe it just wasn't meant to be?

But I loved him too much to think that, love… it's a strange thing isn't it?

But maybe one day we could be happy, even if it's in a million years, and we would look back on this and think 'it was worth it.'

I closed my eyes and listened to the music, I was at peace, it was so relaxing just being able to sit here and clear my mind completely of everything.

I heard laughter from downstairs and gathered that Alice of Jasper had finally fallen. We had been up in Edward's room for an hour already, and I could hear someone climbing the stairs.

Then there was a knock on the door.

"Come in"

Emmett opened the door and poked his head in.

"Are you sure it's safe?"

I threw one of the pillows that was on the sofa at his head and he laughed before he stepped into the room.

"You two can have a go at twister if you want."

"No, I think I'll kill myself if I tried." I stated simply.

The two boys started to laugh at me.

"You think I'm kidding? I'm not."

They just laughed harder.

"Ok, well were all gonna watch a movie then."

Edward and I both stood up at the same time and started to walk out of the room. Emmett grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"I'm sorry that I upset you before Bella."

"Don't worry about it, its fine!"

Then I started to walk back down the stairs.

I joined Edward on one of the couches as all the other couples were cuddling up on the other ones.

The lights went out and the movie started.

I reached for Edward's hand, holding it in mine. He looked at me shocked and I just smiled at him and turned to watch the movie.

_Baby steps._

**AN--**

**i was writing outside for a change and this Red Belly Black Snake came up right next to my foot and i freaked out. **

**reviewsss!!!!!!**

**:)**

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	9. Chapter 9

**AN -- ok sorry about the shortness of Chapters, but its how i do things :)**

* * *

"_Can I talk to you Alice?"_

_She jumped up from the floor, giving Jasper a quick peck on the lips and then started to walk down stairs, I followed her out to the river where she sat on the edge on a rock, letting her legs dangle in the water. _

"_What's up?"_

I sat down next to her on the rock, letting my legs hang into the water, watching as all the fish scattered away.

"I don't know what to do anymore Alice, I try to give her space, but still be there for her at the same time and she keeps shutting me down and cutting me off. I can't do this anymore."

She looked at me, sadness glowing in the depth of her golden orbs.

"Maybe instead of going to her, you should let her come to you… she will come around eventually, I'm sure of it."

"But how sure, I mean you can't be completely sure about her, not anymore."

"I wonder why that is…" She pondered, but I didn't have the patients for this.

"Alice…"

"Huh? What?"

"What do I do about Bella?"

"Oh… wait for her; maybe she isn't ready yet, fair enough right? So instead of trying to take control of the situation, let her take the lead, and just follow what she does, see where that gets you."

"Thanks."

She just smiled at me before getting up and walking into the house. I got up after her and made my way up to my room to relax for a while.

After a few hours of listening to music and reading I heard a car approaching the house. I went down stairs to see who it was that had arrived.

"Edward!" I heard Alice call as I walked down the stairs. I looked to her side and smiled when I saw Bella standing looking very timid. I then looked over to where she was looking and saw Emmett and Rose playing twister, both in an interesting position.

"Whose stupid idea was this?" I asked already knowing who it was and looking directly at Alice. I chuckled as I saw everyone point to her. Then suddenly somewhere between the laughter and the one-hand-ness Rosalie managed to slip and fall right on top of Emmett taking him down with her.

Everyone erupted in laughter and Emmett pulled himself and Rose up and walked started to walk away from the mat.

"My turn! My turn! My turn!" Alice was jumping up and down on the spot excitedly, then she grabbed Jaspers hand and pulled him to the mat while he passed Rose the Spinner. Rose and Emmett sat down on the couch and Bella made her way to sit on the ground near the twister mat.

I wasn't sure why she sat down on the ground, because there where two other couches in the room. I wasn't sure if she sat on the ground because she didn't want to have to sit next to me, or just because she wanted to. I was still standing near the stairs, not exactly sure where to sit.

She looked up to me suddenly and smiled, patting the spot on the carpet next to her. I walked over to her and sat down next to her smiling as she watched Alice and Jasper get ready to start.

"Right hand Red" I heard Rose say from behind me and the couple complied. We had been watching them for a while before I noticed Bella getting a bit restless. Soon enough, she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room, and upstairs to my bedroom.

She closed the door behind me and I sat down on my couch. She walked over to my CD player hitting play.

"Sorry, I was bored."

I smiled at her, letting her take the lead, just like Alice had told me too.

"Ok, here's the deal, I talked to Carlisle, and although I don't think I can trust you with my heart again, well not yet at least, it doesn't mean we can't be friends does it?"

I simply nodded, she was in charge.

"Right, so I thought we could hang out up here and catch up, or whatever."

"Ok" I said, waiter for her to start.

"Ok…"

There was an awkward pause for a second, while I waited for her to start with something for me to go on.

She sighed and plopped down on the couch next to me.

"Why can't this be easy?" She asked annoyed.

"When has anything been easy for us?"

I hadn't meant for her to hear it, I was so used to be able to say things quietly so that she couldn't hear, but this time she defiantly could. But what I had said was true, it has never been easy, there was always something in the way, something trying to tear us apart. It would be great for a while and then something would happen, another near death experience for her, another attack from a vampire; it always somehow had something to do with me thought, no matter what.

But it was all worth it to know that she was still alive and healthy. I had missed her so much, and I loved her so much.

Love… it's a strange thing isn't it? But it was well worth it; well it would be if she ever took me back at least.

I looked over to her and saw she had her eyes closed, she looked so peaceful and relaxed, it was nice to see her like that, I hadn't since we got back to Forks.

There was laughter from downstairs as Jasper finally fell; he had grown tired of it. Then I heard Emmett start up the stairs towards us, he was going to ask if we wanted to play a game too, and I was interested in seeing what Bella would say.

He knocked on the door lightly.

"Come in"

He opened the door slightly and poked his head in.

"Are you sure it's safe?" he asked sarcastically, although he was slightly wary too.

Bella picked up one of the pillows from the couch and threw it at his head, he laughed before he stepped into the room.

"You two can have a go at twister if you want."

"No, I think I'll kill myself if I tried." Bella stated simply.

We both started to laugh at her, knowing it wasn't possible.

"You think I'm kidding? I'm not."

That just caused us both to laugh harder.

"Ok, well were all gonna watch a movie then."

Bella and I both stood at the same time and started to walk out of the room. Emmett grabbed her wrist stopping her; he wanted to apologize, so I left them alone and headed downstairs. I sat on the one couch that wasn't occupied. Bella and Emmett came down the stairs then, Em sat next to Rose and she cuddled into him, Alice and Jasper were doing the same.

Bella came and sat down next to me on the couch, she was close enough that her thigh was brushing up against mine. The lights went off and the movie started to play.

There was a sudden intense feeling to reach out and touch her, somehow, just one touch, but she beat me to it.

I felt her hand grab mine and I looked up at her completely shocked, she was holding my hand! I had to fight so hard right then to stop myself from pulling her to me and kissing her like a mad man. She just smiled at me and turned to watch the rest of the movie.

The whole movie was torture, I had no idea what she was thinking, and all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms, like I used to when we watched movies together, but I wouldn't, because I was going to let her make all the moves, even if it was excruciatingly painful.

The movie was finally finished and the lights came on, she dropped her hand out of mine instantly, I guess she wanted to keep things on the down low for as long as possible, but unfortunately for her, Alice had seen. I gave her a stern look trying to warn her with my eyes.

_Relax, I'll leave it, I'm just happy something happening._

I smiled, knowing that she was behind me on this all the way. Everyone started to go their own ways as soon as the movie had finished. Emmett and Rose went upstairs, Alice and Jasper went outside, and Bella and I were left sitting on the couch.

She smiled at me lightly before she got up and beckoned for me to follow her. I stood and followed her through the house, surprised at how well she remembered it all. She stopped suddenly in front of my piano.

"Will you play for me? I miss it."

I smiled at her before I sat down gesturing for her to sit next to me. She did so and I started to play her lullaby. As her lullaby came to a close I made a transition into Esme's favourite and just like clockwork, as soon as I started to play it, Esme was in the room watching me. She was standing next to Bella with a hand on her shoulder, smiling down on her, she was so happy to have Bella back, she was like a daughter to her, and I knew it hurt her a lot too when we had to leave.

The piece was coming to a close and Esme left giving us some privacy. Bella stood up as I stopped playing.

"I should probably get home, I have pets to feed and stuff…"

"Pets?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean I can't have pets."

"What kind of pets?"

She smiled at me slyly.

"Fish"

I laughed light-heartedly and soon she joined in with me.

"I'll see you at school."

I wanted so badly to ask her to stay, to ask her if she wanted a ride in the morning, to ask her anything that would prolong her leaving, but I knew better, so I let her go, and watched her drive out of the driveway, waving to her as she left for the night.

The second she was out of my sight I felt a strange emptiness take over again, the same one that was always around when she wasn't, it was an emptiness where my heart should be, because no matter what she thinks or says, she has and always will have it.

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**Reviewsss?**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN --**

**Ok so i know that it took ages for this one to come up, and im sorry, but to make it up to you i made it longer :)**

**I also tried to make it a bit fun before i made all serious and up tight and yeah..**

* * *

It had been two weeks since I had made the first move with Edward, and honestly, I am too scared to do anything more, I'm still not ready, but he understands… I think. We had been spending a fair bit of time together, and all my time now is either spent at the Cullen house or at school, but I don't know what to do.

I had just been dragged upstairs by Alice, and to say I was scared at what she had in mind was an understatement. She sat down on the floor pulling me down with her, I fell to the ground lacking the gracefulness I was supposed to be now known for, glad that I could no longer hurt myself. As hard as it is to believe, but even as a Vampire I am still a klutz, it was just on a more epic scale now. Lucky me.

"When are you going to make the next move?" She asked accusingly, I decided the best way out of this one is to play dumb.

"What are you talking about Alice?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, I see you two holding hands all the time. Now when are you going to make the next move?"

"Well… I was kinda hoping that he might make the next move…" I replied suddenly finding the carpet very interesting.

"Bella, he isn't going to make the next move because he doesn't want to rush you, so he's letting you take the lead. I've been looking for it in the future too, but for some reason whenever I look for you nothing comes up. Why is that?"

"Uh… secret?" it wasn't a statement, but a question. I knew why she couldn't see me, but if I told her, well it wouldn't be as fun anymore.

"Bella" she wined. I smiled at her wickedly before I stood up and walked out of the room. I could hear her call out after me, but I just ignored her. I walked down stairs where Edward was sitting at his piano.

He smiled when I walked into the room.

"Have a nice chat with Alice?"

"You were listening weren't you?" I asked hoping for dear life he wasn't.

"Sorry" and he did look sorry, he looked truly ashamed of himself, and I couldn't help but laugh, he was acting like he was just caught for a murder not for eavesdropping. He looked at me strangely before standing and shaking his head. He was about to walk out of the room, but I grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"Come for a walk?" I asked hopefully.

He just nodded and laced his fingers in with mine. I loved that we were taking things slow, and I was slowly feeling more comfortable with him in general. I started to run through the forest leisurely, in no rush to get anywhere, but just enjoying the wind in my hair. I felt so free when I was running, especially when I was with Edward like this, it was peaceful.

We reached our meadow and I stopped at the edge dropping his hand. I walked into the clearing lying down on the grass enjoying the peace and serenity. Edward came in and sat down next to me, watching me intently. I watched back with just as much intensity and I truly felt at ease, like this was where I belonged.

A lot of people, including the Cullen's, don't know that I have a gift, like Edward's mind reading, and Alice's premonitions. I have the ability to shield myself, at the start it was just from mental attacks, but I practiced for years, and soon I was able to shield myself from any gifts, I have complete control over my shield so I could pull it down whenever I want too and let someone in.

I could also shield others as well as myself, it had become like a second nature to me, I don't even think about it half the time.

I've never actually pulled down my shield except for when I was learning how too, so Alice would have never been able to see me, Jasper doesn't affect me, and Edward can't hear my thoughts.

But today was different, today I needed to change things, it was time that Edward realised what he did to me when he left, because I don't think I will ever really get over it until I show him this, and I know he wont like it, and I know its going to hurt both of us, but it needs to be done.

I pulled down my shield and called out to him in my mind. We were both staring at each other still and his eyes widened when he saw that I had spoken to him without speaking aloud. I smiled and replied in my mind _'yeah… I'm a shield.'_

"What? Why didn't you tell us?"

_No one asked…_

"Oh…"

_I need to show you something, and you're not going to like it, neither am I for that matter, but it has to be done._

He just nodded, looking very wary and I started to show him what happened when he left. I showed him the fuzzy human memory of him leaving, the nightmares I had every night, Victoria chasing me, the bite, the pain, my first year and how scared and alone I was, Denali, the conversation I had with Tanya about him, My mother and Fathers funeral, when he came back, the pain and torture and loneliness, and how much it all hurt.

I watched him carefully as I showed him each scene, he would grimace and flinch every now and then, he gasped audibly when I showed him what Tanya had said about him, and that the nightmares where s reoccurring thing.

When it was over I pulled my shield back up and smiled at him sadly, I hated opening up all those old wounds again, but I knew I had too, it was the only way he could ever truly understand. He stood up and put his hand out for me to get up. He looked so sad; I was almost worried that I had hurt him too much.

When I stood up he hugged me, and I hugged back because it felt nice to have his body up against mine again.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I had no idea, I just – god I'm such an idiot."

I laughed and he looked down at me strangely.

"I'm having trouble seeing where you find the humour in all of this"

I just smiled up at him.

"You do it every time." I said fighting back a laugh.

"Do what?" He demanded

"You call yourself an idiot, even though you have been to high school god knows how many times, you have degrees in medicine and science and who knows what else, you know almost everything about anything, and you call yourself an idiot."

I know it wasn't really all that funny, but if you were in my situation you would have laughed too.

"Ah Bella, what am I going to do with you?" He asked looking down on me.

I just shrugged my shoulders finally pulling out of the hug. I stood up on the tips of my toes, trying to reach his height, and kissed him on the cheek. I wanted him to know that I wasn't mad about all of that still, I needed him to know that I had finally forgiven him, and even though I still don't trust him entirely, it's a start right?

I grabbed his hand, meshing our fingers together, and I started to run out of the meadow. We were approaching the house and I could hear the bubbling of the stream that was right next to the house. I could also hear laughter and splashing. The best thing about being a Vampire is that weather doesn't bother you, so we could enjoy swimming in winter or on the colder days.

We walked into the clearing, hand in hand, and started to make our way over to the creek. I stopped about 2 meters away from the bank, trying to avoid being splashed. Edward turned around to look at me, noticing that I didn't want to get wet; then he did what any other person would do.

He picked me up bridal style and threw me into the water. I stayed under the water for a while, glad that I wasn't wearing anything important, but he would still pay for this, that was sure. I rose to the surface and glared at him; I got out of the water and walked up to him. He looked worried so I reassured him with a cute smile; I would make him pay, but not now.

"Can you get me a towel please?"

He just nodded and walked into the house. He was back seconds later with a towel in his hands. I smiled as I took it off him and wrapped it around my body. After I had dried off he and I walked into the house, we went up into his room to relax for a while.

I was sitting on the couch and we were listening to music, I subconsciously reached up and touched my neck where the locket I used to always wear would sit. Edward saw that and suddenly his face lit up. He walked behind me and I saw him reaching into his pocket for something, then he put a necklace on me. I looked at it, it was my locket!

"I'm sorry, I took it after I found out that you were dead, even though you clearly weren't, I went back to your house and saw it, I took it because I knew how much it meant to you, and I kept it with me all the time."

"Thank you."

I turned around and kissed him lightly on the lips, the kiss was sweet and lingered. I stepped away and opened the locket; inside it was a picture of myself and Edward from Prom. I smiled lightly and snapped it shut, I would never take it off.

I sat down on his couch and hugged one of the pillows; we had school in the morning, so half the night would be spent getting ready, and by getting ready I mean it will be spent by me being "Bella Barbie" for Alice and Rose. He sat down next to me and smiled. I leaned into him and he put his arm around me, holding on tightly.

We had accomplished a lot today in our relationship, I finally felt comfortable around him, although I was still very wary, and I kept my heart locked up, but soon, he would have the key again, of that I was sure. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day, because tomorrow I was going to get explanations about everything.

It was time everything was put out on the table, no more secrets, nothing. Even if it killed us, I was going to get all the answers I wanted, needed, and it was defiantly going to be hard, because I'm sure there are things he wants to know too.

……………..

School had sucked majorly, classes were lame, and Alice I got into trouble for talking in class and had to go to a damn detention, which we only did half of because we used that half to talk our way out of it.

Alice rang Edward to come pick us up, seconds after she snapped the phone shut I saw Edwards silver car turn into the parking lot. I slid into the front passenger seat, smiling at Edward while Alice slid into the back. Edward held onto my hand as he started to drive away, not letting go until we reached the house and had to get out.

Alice jumped out of the car first and ran inside to Jasper, those two hated being separated for too long, it was sweet. Edward got out and ran around to my side of the car opening the door for me. I stepped out of the car and took his awaiting hand, this had become routine now, we held hands almost every second we were together, it was nice to feel connected once again.

We walked into the house hand-in-hand and stopped in the lounge room where Alice and Jasper were sitting on the couch, staring at each other intensely, just like they always did, and although they were just looking at each other, it was so unbelievably private.

We walked up to Edward's room, putting our bags down next to the door. I walked over to his couch, plopping down on it, and spreading out so that I took up most of the couch. Edward sat at the opposite end and I put my feet in his lap.

We just sat there for ages before I decided it was time to do something, I couldn't avoid this conversation forever.

"Edward?" I asked breaking the silence; he looked towards me indicating that he was listening.

"I… I need some answers."

I didn't know how to continue, I didn't know where to start, there was so much I needed to know.

"What kind of answers?" He asked quietly, I knew he would tell me anything I needed to know.

"Uh… I don't know where to start." I admitted nervously.

He smiled sweetly, showing me that he would cooperate and I didn't have to worry about it.

"How about from the beginning?"

The beginning? Where was that though?

"Ok the beginning, um well, a while ago, when I was talking to Carlisle, he said that you came back to check on me, and something you saw, it changed you, what happened that night?"

He sighed heavily.

"I decided I couldn't stay away from you anymore, I needed to see you. So I thought I would check on you one night, I didn't want you to know I had been there, I shouldn't have been there, I tried to make a clean break, but it was so hard. I went to climb up to your window, expecting it to be closed, but found that it was open, this had shocked me, I had thought to myself, why would she leave it open, unless she was hoping for me to come back. I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of your room and watched you sleep for hours, but something wasn't right, you were too quiet.

"Then you started to talk, and roll around. You were calling out to me, asking me to come back, and I so badly wanted to reach out and tell you I was there, and that it was ok. You were crying, and it hurt to know that I caused you so much pain. But I thought that you would get over it eventually, that you would forget, because all humans forgot eventually.

"Then you sat up and screamed. I quickly hid in your closet and watched as Charlie came in to see if you were alright, he acted like this was a regular occurrence, the way he just shrugged it off made me mad. You cried yourself to sleep, and I snuck out your window before anyone could see me."

I was shocked, he had been there, he had been right there, so close, and I didn't even know.

"Every night."

"Hmm?" he asked confused.

"I had the same nightmare every night after you left, every night, until I could no longer sleep."

"Oh…"

"Anything else you want to know?" He asked.

"Oh, just a million things or two…"

He laughed and I smiled at how easy this had been so far.

"Next question?"

"Ok, um… Carlisle said that you came back to get me, but I was gone, what happened?"

"Well, I decided that I couldn't live with you any longer, so I was going to get you back. I got to your house, but no one was home. So I followed Charlies scent through the town, and to the cemetery. There was a group of people standing around a grave, your family and friends. I walked over to them, to see if you were there, and whose grave it was. As I approached, Jessica Stanley moved aside to let me in. I saw your name on the stone, and well, to say I lost it would be an understatement."

……………

'_Isabella Marie Swan – Beloved Daughter and friend. RIP'_

"_No!" I said a little too loudly. Everyone looked over to me and I stared back at them hoping it was all a cruel joke._

"_Edward?" I heard Charlie's gruff voice ask._

"_I… She… NO!"_

"_What are you doing here Edward?" I heard Renee ask lightly._

"_I came back, I missed her too much, I love her and I came back for her, but she, and I'm…"_

_I ran off into the forest at human speed then and as soon as I was out of sight I started to sprint faster than I ever had before._

……………

"Anything else?" He was getting upset now; he didn't like looking back on all this, just as much as I didn't.

"You… you looked after Charlie and Renee… why?"

He looked at me intently for a while.

"Well, I don't know exactly. I just… I mean… I felt attached to them; they were all I had left of you. So I watched over them, I wanted them to stay safe, happy. When I was close to them, I felt close to you too."

I smiled sadly at him; I cannot believe I was once so mad at him for something so sweet, if only I had known.

He looked at me, he was so sad, I could see the pain that he felt when he relived this past, and I felt it too, because this was the first time in the past 100 years that I truly understood. I wanted so badly to stop, to leave it where it was and live happily, but how could I? There was still so much I needed to know.

He sighed heavily before he continued.

"Your mother, she was so crazy, she reminded me so much of you, she was so free, wild, nothing could hold her down, nothing. She was like you in so many ways, she was a magnet for danger, she was always in some trouble, something that I would have to help her out of. I hate to think what had happened if I hadn't been there some of the times I had, just like you." He smiled that gorgeous crooked smile at me.

"But Charlie, well he was something else; he was more like you that your mother in so many ways, you truly do take after him. He was so stubborn, he never changed his mind, well most of the time, there was of course the odd occasion where he would cave, but not often. He would always find his way into trouble, financially usually, because he was too stubborn to admit defeat and cave into it all."

"So what was one of the times he would cave?" I asked suspiciously, he was more stubborn than me.

"Well, did you know about Harry Clearwater's death?"

"Yeah, I had heard about it."

"Well, his wife, Sue, she changed him"

I was getting a bit wary now, I didn't know much about my parents, after I left all I wanted to know was if they were safe and healthy, anything else, well it would be too painful.

"What do you mean she changed him? How?"

"She married him" He smiled

My mouth dropped open, I couldn't believe it, my dad had remarried, and to Sue Clearwater? Wow!

He chuckled lightly, he grabbed my hand holding onto it, he pulled it up to his lips placing a sweet kiss on the back of my hand.

"Can I ask you a question now?"

"I guess, what did you want to ask me?"

"Why did you lose faith in me so easily? How could you give up on me after all the times I told you how much I loved you?"

I wanted to cry, I felt so bad, I was so quick to judge him, because it was so much easier than loving him, it hurt so much less to blame him then to think that maybe he still loved me.

"It was always so much easier, if I had believed in you, if I had kept believing that you still loved me, despite the odds, I think the pain of it might have killed me. It never mad sense that you loved me, and then when Tanya told me that you had done this before, well it just made so much more sense. So then I started to believe that I was just another one of your toys, something that you had your fun with and then dumped, because it made sense."

I was getting mad now, and starting to yell.

"I hated you for it too, I hated that you would make me so damn happy and then pull it all out from under me, and make me miserable, make me want to kill myself because of the pain I felt. Do you have any idea what that was like? You promised me you would stay with me; you promised me that you would always protect me? Where were you when I needed you? WHERE!?"

I didn't mean to yell at him, it just made me so mad, so unbelievably mad, because honestly, I was in hell for those years, a hell that I couldn't break loose of, no matter how hard I tried.

He looked shocked, he looked pained, but mostly, he looked angry, but not at me, no I knew when he was angry at me, which was never, it was always his fault, everything was always his fault, no matter what it was, he made it his fault, and I hated it, and now, it was going to stop.

"Don't!"

He looked at me shocked again.

"What?"

"Don't get mad at yourself, not now, not again! I'm sick of it, its always your fault in your eyes always! And you know what, maybe this was your fault, because you left me, but I don't care. I didn't tell you all this because I wanted you to hate yourself or to get angry at yourself and beat yourself up, I'm telling you this because its time you understood, it's time you realised what you did to me, how you made me feel. I told you this because you need to accept it and move on, we both need to face this and move on, otherwise it will just keep coming up and we will never get past it, and I don't want to suffer in the past anymore.

"The past is just that Edward, the past! I need you to face it with me, to face it and get past it, together. Please."

He looked at me, he was pained, and he looked like he wanted to run, and hide under a rock somewhere. He was watching me, waiting for me to make a move, to do something. I leant up and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"It's ok, because I forgive you, I understand you had your motives, you thought you were protecting me, and then you gave up and you were going to come back and get me, but I was gone. It was all bad luck, nothing more, but there is always something in the way isn't there? And if we don't get past this, then it will be another one of those things that will be in the way of our relationship."

He nodded his head for me to continue, I held both of his hands in mine, looking into his eyes.

"I'm sorry"

That was all he said, he didn't go into a speech about how he had no choice, he didn't go on about hating me, he just said he was sorry. I looked into his eyes, knowing that always gave him away, he looked relieved, he looked happy, and he looked at me with the most adoration and love in his eyes I have ever seen.

I smiled at him, knowing we had finally made progress in the relationship, we had finally gotten past a huge milestone, and we were that much closer to being back to our normal relationship, but there is still a lot standing in our way, and it will still take some time to get where we want to be in our relationship.

_Some things take time._

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**AN --**

**hope you enjoyed it! **

**reviews! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**OK so i know i said i wasnt going to update in ages, but i just really felt like writing a new chapter, i dont know why, i just did, so enjoy it. **

**Also i did take a section from _New Moon_ and used it in here as a flashback - all rights go to **

**BPOV**

There was still so much I needed to know from him, still so much I wanted to ask, but that night when we were discussing things I had decided it was time to stop, I didn't want things to become too much for either of us, I mean, I hadn't even touched the whole Tanya story.

Unfortunately, I don't think I could avoid that topic much longer, why you might ask, well because I made the mistake of telling Tanya all about it. I had decided to ring her one night so we could catch up, I thought, well what's the harm right? I told her that the Cullen's were back and she went into this whole over-dramatic thing.

"_Oh god Bella, that must be so hard on you, what are you going to do?"_

_I hesitated slightly deciding on how to answer her question, she is my friend, my sister even. she should be happy for me right?_

"_Well actually, Edward and I have worked things out, and were kind of back together now…"_

"_WHAT!" she all but screeched, seriously, she sounds like a banshee. Haha, that's actually kind of funny, I think I could picture her as a banshee, feeding of others pain, yup, that's Tanya._

"_What about everything he did to you, he used you Bella!"_

_I rolled my eyes at her comment, pfft, what did she know anyway?_

"_Regardless, we're together now."_

"_That's it, you give me no other choice Bella, I mean clearly he has brainwashed you with his lies again, I'm coming down there, and that's final."_

_And then the phone clicked shut. Oh joy._

Seriously, she is just asking for trouble, I didn't want to bring the whole thing up with Edward, because looking back on it, it seems like such a stupid thing to believe and such a stupid thing to lose faith of him over, I mean it is obvious now that she was lying, but I didn't know that then did I?

Oh well, might as well get this over with.

I walked up to his bedroom knocking on the door lightly.

"Come in"

I opened the door walking in. He was lying on the bed reading a book, and he looked stunningly beautiful like always, and when I say stunningly beautiful, I mean I was actually stunned, and shocked into stillness for a second or two, before coherent thought came back.

"Hey love" He smiled that breathtakingly beautiful crooked smile at me and I all but melted. Gah, stupid sexy, beautiful vampire and his hypnotic powers.

I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him, crossing my legs and turned so my body was facing him. He closed his book putting it down, noting the seriousness on my face. The title of the book was Blood moon, something which I had yet to read, I will borrow it from him one day, if we make it through this conversation of course.

I know I am being ridiculous, because I know that something as stupid as this wouldn't be enough for him to be mad at me or leave me or anything stupid like that, but I have always been overly paranoid, its just the way I am.

He sat up crossing his legs also, facing me in the process. I sighed heavily.

"Tanya is coming to visit me, well, you, well, us, I mean, ah! I don't even know anymore."

"Why is this a problem?" He asked clearly confused.

"Because!" He looked at me expectantly and then sighed.

"Were not going to get anywhere here Bella unless you explain."

"Ok, ok, just promise you won't get mad at me"

"Silly Bella, of course I won't, I can never be mad at you."

"Ok, so when I was staying with Tanya and the rest of her family, well my family I guess," He raised his eyebrows at my obvious rambling. "Anyway, I had stayed with her for about two years, and then one day I kind of snapped, I decided that I was going to come and find you no matter what, I had packed my bags and I was just about to leave when Tanya stopped me at the door.

"I didn't realise why at the time, but she was trying so hard to stop me from leaving and finding you, she eventually told me that you always did this…"

I took a shaky breath, even though I knew now that none of this could be true, it still hurt to think about it, and to think about how much it hurt me just to hear that.

"She said you always find some poor girl who will easily fall in love with you, and that you drag them along constantly, pretending to fall in love with them too, but then you would get bored of them and just leave them. She said you did it to her too."

He looked shocked.

"And you believed it?" He didn't sound angry, no, angry would have been good, but instead he sounded hurt, really hurt.

"Well it just made so much more sense, I mean the way you left me Edward, you gave me no real reason, you said you didn't want me anymore, it just made sense ok! I didn't want to believe her, but it just seemed to fit in with everything. I hated you for it too, god I hated you so damn much Edward."

"Oh" Was all he said.

"Excuse me" and then he got up and walked out of the room.

"Edward, wait!" but he ignored me and kept walking.

I stared at the door for almost an hour before I got up. I walked out of the Cullen house in a daze, I faintly heard Alice asking me if I was ok, but it didn't really sink in. I kept walking, jumped into my car and drove home.

I didn't think he would react like this, I mean I know I lost faith in him easily, but honestly, he couldn't really blame me could he? If he were in my position he probably would have done the same thing, and it's not like I stopped loving him, clearly I got over it, it just hurt.

I walked into the house and sat down on the couch staring at the blank TV screen.

"_Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking my hand._

_I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to. I didn't like this. _This is bad, this is very bad,_ the voice in my head repeated again and again._

_But he didn't wait for and answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. it was what I wanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it all through. so why was the panic choking me?_

_We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail – I could still see the house. _

_Some walk._

_Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable._

"_Ok, let's talk," I said. It sounded braved than it felt. He took a deep breath._

"_Bella, we're leaving." _

_I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask._

"_Why now? Another year –"_

"_Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."_

_His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant._

_He stared back at me coldly._

_With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood._

"_When you say _we –_" I whispered._

"_I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct._

_I shook my head back and forth mechanically trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak._

"_Ok," I said. "I'll come with you."_

"_You can't, Bella. Where we're going… it's not the right place for you."_

"_Where you are is the right place for me."_

"_I'm no good for you, Bella."_

"_Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."_

"_My world is not for you," he said grimly._

"_What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"_

"_You're right," he agreed "It was exactly to be expected."_

"_You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay –"_

"_As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me._

"No!_ This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me – somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already!"_

_He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder – like the liquid gold had frozen solid._

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying._

_There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent._

"_You… don't… want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order._

"_No"_

_I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz – hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken._

"_Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense._

_He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…_ tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back and the icy planes of his perfect face were _not_ human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."_

"_Don't." My voice was just a whisper now, awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."_

"_You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him._

_I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried again._

"_If… that's what you want."_

_He nodded once._

Honestly, could you really blame me for believing Tanya, the way he left me, he just gave up, and left, and didn't give me reason. I had two options with what I could believe about him, the first was to believe Tanya, and the second, was to believe that he really did love me once, but then grew to resent me because of the fact that I was a fragile human.

I wasn't paying attention to anything, just thinking, hoping, praying that he wouldn't be too mad when I saw him next, so when Emmett plopped down on the couch next to me I almost jumped out of my skin. I was still staring at the TV screen vacantly.

"Oh man! I love this show!" he said gesturing to the blank TV screen.

I looked at him blankly for a second, and then back at the TV screen, then back at him, and back at the TV.

And then I laughed, I had too, because the look on his face, plus the idiotic joke and the way he said it, I just couldn't help it.

"You know" he started as he put his arm around my shoulders.

"He isn't mad at you, he talked to me on his way out. He was kinda hurt that you didn't have more faith in him, but it's to be expected. The reason he walked out was because he was so mad at Tanya for saying that too you, and he didn't want to accidentally take it out on you, so he went for a run."

"Really?" I asked in a small voice.

"Yeah, just thought I should tell you, cause you looked kind of… dead when you left… no pun intended."

I laughed again, relieved that Edward wasn't mad at me.

"Thanks Em"

"Hey, anytime lil sis." He said punching me in the arm playfully.

"So I was thinking on my way over here, Tanya coming here is just gonna cause more drama, you know that right." I nodded my head dumbly. "She has always had this weird obsession with Edward, and when she found out he was in love with a human she was so insanely jealous. So don't let anything she does or tries to do get to you. And don't ever think that Edward would do anything to hurt you, or ever cheat on you, because I'm almost certain she will stop at nothing to break you two up. And if a situation looks bad, believe Edward over her, ok?"

"Yeah, ok, thanks again Em."

"It's cool, it's what I'm here for… hey do you wanna race back to the house?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Sweet" he replied walking over to the door, standing on the porch.

"Ok, ready, set GO!"

And then we were off, running through the forest, pushing each other into things, trying to get the upper hand. I pushed forward on the last 100 meters and just beat him across the line of the forest.

Alice was sitting on the front porch.

"Bella won!" She yelled excitedly.

"Damn it!" Emmett yelled. I laughed at him and he turned to me with an evil smile on his face.

"Oh, you are so going to pay for that!"

He charged at me, and I didn't have the chance to run, he threw me over his shoulder and then chucked me into the creek. I laughed and swam around the creek, Emmett walked inside with a satisfied grin on his face and Alice followed him laughing.

Then I heard footsteps coming from the forest.

"What are you doing in the creek… fully clothed?"

Edward asked looking at me confused.

"Would you like me to lose the clothes?" I asked half joking, but kind of serious too.

He just laughed and shook his head.

"Emmett threw me in because we were racing back to the house and I beat him."

"Oh, I see."

There was a silence as he sat down on the bank of the creek.

He sighed heavily before speaking.

"When is she coming?"

"In a day or two." he nodded his head, and I swam over to the bank, pulling myself up so I was sitting next to him.

"I'm sorry if I worried you, I'm not mad at you Bella, it just took me by surprise is all."

I smiled at him and pecked him on the cheek.

"I know, Emmett came and talked to me. I was freaking out at first though, and then after staring at your door for an hour, I went back to my house, but Em decided to come over and straighten things out for me."

"I just don't understand why you would believe her"

"I guess it just made more sense to me. And it hurt less to think that than it did to think that you did love me, but then resented me because I was human. It was just easier all around, I was looking for a way out, and she gave it to me."

"I'm sorry." Why is he sorry? He didn't do anything wrong this time, it was my fault for believing her.

He got up and extended his hand out to me. I placed mine in his eagerly, standing up, and walking into the house with him. We went up to his bedroom and he grabbed me a towel and I grabbed a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom to dry off and get changed.

I walked back out of the bathroom, noticing that Edward was gone again. I sighed heavily. I had really hurt him, I didn't mean to lose faith in him, it's not like I ever expected to see him again, seriously, and that was what, 98 years ago? Oh well.

I walked down the stairs finding Emmett watching some random sport on the TV. I groaned audibly, and he turned around smiling at me creepily. That guy seriously reminded me of a bear sometimes, it's kind of freaky.

_Where did Alice go?_

I walked out into the garage, and saw Rose, or her legs at least, sticking out from under one of the Cullen cars. I kept walking, and walked out the back to where the river was flowing. Alice was sitting on a rock, enjoying the serenity, so it seemed. I walked over to her and sat down.

"What do you do?"

I was slightly confused by her question, and the fact that it came out of, well nowhere.

"Huh?"

"What did you do, like to make money? You had to have a job of some sorts."

"Oh right, a job. I write songs and artists by them off me and sing them."

"Oh, that's pretty cool. Anything I would have heard of?"

"Depends on what you listen to."

She rolled her eyes at me and pushed on my shoulder lightly. I smiled at her before standing up and starting to walk away.

"Bella" she wined "Why don't you ever answer my questions?"

"Because, you're just way to fun to annoy." I replied and walked into the house.

I felt a pair of strong arms encase me.

"You write songs?" He asked in that unbelievably beautiful voice.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to listen in on other people's conversations?"

"What kind of songs?"

I rolled my eyes… again, and started to walk away from his grip.

"Where are you going?" He asked disappointedly.

"To show you what I write."

He followed me out of the house, and I started running towards my own house, which is basically only used for storage these days.

When we reached the house I opened the front door, walking into my office.

I picked up my guitar, checking that it was in tune.

Then I started to play the song. He sat on the ground watching me with wide eyes, like a child, it was quite amusing to say the least.

_Did you forget  
That I was even alive  
Did you forget  
Everything we ever had  
Did you forget  
Did you forget  
About me_

Did you regret  
Ever standing by my side  
Did you forget  
What we were feeling inside  
Now I'm left to forget  
About us

But somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
You can't forget it

So now I guess  
This is where we have to stand  
Did you regret  
Ever holding my hand  
Never again  
Please don't forget  
Don't forget

We had it all  
We were just about to fall  
Even more in love  
Than we were before  
I won't forget  
I won't forget  
About us

But somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
You can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
You can't forget it  
At all

And at last  
All the pictures have been burned  
And all the past  
Is just a lesson that we've learned  
I won't forget  
I won't forget us

But somewhere we went wrong  
Our love is like a song  
But you won't sing along  
You've forgotten  
About us

He frowned when I finished the song.

"I never forgot about you Bella, I never will."

I smiled lightly.

"I know that now. Besides, it was just my way of venting."

"Well regardless, it's an amazing song, you are truly talented."

"Thanks." I replied timidly, I'm really glad I can't blush anymore.

"Can I hear another one?" he asked eagerly.

"Um… maybe another time."

That song was really hard for me to sing again, and I don't think I am completely ready to show him my other songs yet, besides I need a piano. He'll get a kick out of it when he sees that I learned how to play the piano as well.

"Ok" he said smiling.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked sweetly.

"Can you bring your guitar?"

"Uh… sure, I guess? Why?"

"Just in case." he replied smiling.

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**AN --**

**the song is Demi Lovato's _Dont Forget_ - i dont own it.**

**anyway, i probably wont be updating after this for a while, except for revisions. **

**so enjoy.**

**and yes there will be Tanya drama.**

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	12. Chapter 12

Sorry it took so long, i just kept putting it all off, but i hope you all enjoy it now.

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Edward and I were running through the forest at a leisurely pace, holding hands, and of course him being the gentleman, he was carrying my guitar for me. I looked over at him and smiled, things have been so great lately, and I had finally started to feel like I can trust him again. He smiled back at me and slowed to a walk.

He pulled the guitar strap on, so the guitar was sitting on his back, and then he stopped and turned to me with a cute smile plastered on his face. He leant in and kissed me gently at first, but then with more passion and heat. His tongue darted out and traced my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I hesitantly denied. I wasn't ready for that. When we were first together there were so many boundaries that he would enforce, and now, I was he one who wasn't ready to cross them… yet.

He pulled back looking disappointed, like a child who just found out the last cookie was gone. I laughed at him and leant in giving him a quick peck on the lips before grabbing his hand and starting off for the house again.

When we reached the house Alice was sitting on the front step again, it was like she had to personally greet us when we got back, that or she wanted something.

"Bella" she whined. "Why won't you show _me_ what you write, I'm your best friend, _remember_"

I looked at her, and then at Edward and sighed heavily.

"Fine" I said walking through the door, making my way towards Edwards piano. I sat down on the bench and looked back to see the confusion on both their faces. I rolled my eyes and turned towards the keys, my fingers glided across the ivory gracefully as I played the introduction to the song.

_Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces passed  
And I'm home bound_

__

Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making my way  
Through the crowd

And I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
Tonight

It's always times like these  
When I think of you  
And I wonder  
If you ever  
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong  
And I don't belong  
Living in your  
Precious memories

'Cause I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
Tonight

And I, I  
Don't want to let you know  
I, I  
Drown in your memory  
I, I  
Don't want to let this go  
I, I  
Don't....

Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces passed  
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making my way  
Through the crowd

And I still need you  
And I still miss you  
And now I wonder....

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass us by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you...

_If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
If I could  
Just hold you  
Tonight_

I turned around to look at the two that I had played for, not all that surprised to find all the Cullen's standing there staring at me in awe, I was so absorbed in my music, that I didn't even notice them come in. Alice was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed staring up at me like a child during story time. Rosalie was standing in the doorway leaning back against Emmett who was smiling like an idiot. Jasper was sitting on the ground next to Alice looking over at her with the most adoring look I have ever seen.

Carlisle and Esme were standing behind Jasper and Alice, Esme was leaning back into Carlisle's embrace, and they were both looking at me proudly. And Edward, he was standing directly in front of me, looking at me lovingly and adoringly, and yet, surprised.

"I love that song" Alice said dazed, and everyone nodded dumbly in agreement.

I stood up from the seat and walked into Edwards awaiting arms. He kissed the top of my head tenderly, and I heard the rest of the family leaving the room, clearly giving us some privacy.

I pulled out of his arms, smiling up at him.

"That was beautiful, Love."

"Thanks" I replied timidly, I always got embarrassed when someone said something good about my songs, because to be honest, I didn't think they were all that great.

Suddenly Alice came running into the room her eyes alight with excitement, this couldn't be good.

"Alice?" I asked, almost too scared to trust my own voice.

"We're going shopping." She replied grinning.

"No were not, we had a deal, remember?"

"Oh, I remember, but the deal was that I can't drag you off shopping, we didn't say anything about Edward." She replied grinning evilly.

"So you have two choices here Bella, you can come along too so he doesn't have to suffer alone, or you can refuse and I will keep him away all day torturing the both of you."

Crap, I can't let him go with her alone.

"Why do you need Edward to go?"

"I need someone to carry my bags" she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Oh, I see, that makes sense…" I looked over to Edward with a smile on my face.

"Sorry" I replied. He looked shocked and betrayed, but as if I would ever let him go shopping with her if I could avoid it.

"Jasper" He was standing at the bottom of the stairs as soon as I said his name, he was looking over to me expectantly.

"You're going shopping." I smiled at him.

He looked at me, then to Alice and sighed heavily.

"Ok, let's go" He said to Alice before walking out to the car.

"You suck." She said before walking out towards the car with a shrug of her shoulders.

In a very mature gesture, I poked my tongue out at her, and then turned around to smile at Edward.

"Thanks, love. I thought I was a goner then" he sounded relieved.

"You didn't really think I would abandon you like that did you?"

He chuckled lightly "No, I suppose not"

"So what are we doing today?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I actually have to help Carlisle with something, so I'm afraid you're on your own today. But I suppose you could see what Esme is doing; she might have something to keep you busy."

"I think I might." I replied smiling.

He smiled before kissing me on the cheek and walking off towards Carlisle's office. I hadn't spent much time with Esme, and I had really missed the mother figure in my life. I smiled walking off towards the stairs, looking for her.

I could hear her humming in her office; I walked up the stairs knocking on the beautiful wooden door. Esme was always collecting things to make each of her rooms in her house original; she was a master at decoration.

"Come in" She sang, I opened the door to see her dancing around the room to her own humming. She was re-decorating it and was half way through painting a wall. She was doing it all at a normal, human pace, I suppose she enjoyed it so much that she liked to savour the time.

She stopped what she was doing and looked to me smiling a brilliant smile.

"What can I do for you dear?"

"Well, I was just wondering if you would like an extra pair of hands, I know we haven't spent that much time together lately."

"That's a wonderful idea, I could always use the company" she smiled.

I walked over to the table picking up one of the paint brushes. I looked at the plan that she had laid out on her desk so I knew what I was doing and dipped my brush into the grass green paint and started applying it to the bottom of the wall.

Esme smiled over at me before starting to paint again also, she was turning the wall behind her desk into a beautiful garden; green grass, brilliant blue sky with a few white fluffy clouds. Red and yellow roses, huge fig trees and all kinds of animals. It was like one of those perfect gardens you see in cartoons and TV shows, it kind of reminded me of a _Bambi_ picture I used to have in my room when I was a child. It's strange the things I remember.

We painted in silence for a while; I was just about to start on a baby deer when she moved to come closer to me.

"I must admit Bella; I'm rather impressed by your music. I remember when that song came out, I loved it, and I just can't believe that you wrote it. Oh, no offence. It's just I never knew you had an interest in music."

"Well, I needed something to do at night, I started with guitar, drums, and anything else, I was really hesitant to go anywhere near the piano for obvious reasons, it reminded me too much of him. I was out shopping one day and I saw the most amazing grand piano, and it almost seemed like it was calling me, so I brought it on an impulse. It sat in my music room for about 3 years before one day I decided to sit down and have a bit of a play around, and that's where _A Thousand Miles_ came from." I replied smiling.

"I remember I was sitting at the piano, and it was so over whelming, I missed him so much and I just started to play. After I wrote that song I felt so much lighter, so after that I used my song writing as a way to vent."

"Maybe I could hear some of your other songs one day?" Esme asked sincerely, "I would love to hear you play the guitar."

"Sure, maybe later." I smiled.

She smiled back at me before turning back to the wall to continue painting.

……………….

Esme and I had finally finished painting the wall, and all though I was sceptical as to how it would look with the rest of the room, it in fact looked amazing; of course, I should never have doubted Esme.

"Knock, knock"

Esme and I both turned from admiring the work that we had done to see both of our men standing at the door. Carlisle walked over to Esme, enveloping her in a huge, kissing her tenderly on the top of her head, while I walked over into Edwards embrace.

"I missed you" He stated simply into my hair.

I just snuggled in closer to his embrace. As strange as it seems, Edward and I have spent all of our time together lately, we hadn't been apart for longer than half an hour in over a month, so to spend a whole day apart was harder then I thought it would be, so I was happy for the distraction that Esme gave me.

I pulled back a little bit looking up at him through my eyelashes.

I turned around to find that both Esme and Carlisle had left; I was so absorbed in Edward that I didn't even really notice.

I pulled out of his grip entirely "What's wrong, love?" He asked as he looked down at me, slightly disappointed that I had pulled away, while trying to pull me back to his chest.

"I need to hunt" I stated simply.

"I see; would you like me to come?" He asked sincerely.

"Would you like to come?"

"Of course I would, my love. Shall we go?" He asked offering me his arm as I linked mine with his.

…………

Edward and I had hunted many times before, and each time he seemed to get less and less protective of me. I remember on hunting trip he threw himself between me and a grizzly bear. After he realised I was angrier and more dangerous than the grizzly he sauntered off sheepishly, to find something for him to hunt… alone.

This time however, he had no trouble letting me go and watching me take down some bears, and even if I do say so myself, I think Emmett would even be proud of me.

We were casually walking back to the house, not really in a rush to go anywhere, I mean it's not like we need to sleep or eat. As we finally reached the house I was suddenly pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"Bella, I missed you!" Emmett called excitedly.

Emmett and Rosalie had been away for a week, I wasn't really sure where they went, but I think I have a pretty good idea what they were doing while there.

"I missed you too, now put me down you crazy man!" I replied laughing at his childish behaviour.

He put me down with a grin on his face. I heard Edward chuckle from the corner, obviously at Emmett's idiocy.

"Don't think I forgot about you little brother" Emmett said bounding over to Edward in the corner, who had attempted to run, but was too slow. Emmett picked him up and threw him over his shoulder walking towards the back door. Edward was struggling to get out of Emmett's grip, but we all knew that he wouldn't be able too, despite the fact that we are all naturally strong; Emmett is defiantly the strongest in the family.

I was laughing hysterically at the two as Emmett carried Edward out the back door and towards the creek. Too afraid to get any closer, I stood at the back door laughing as Edward was thrown in the river.

Alice was at my side suddenly, back from her shopping trip with Jasper.

"Hey, I see Emmett is back." Alice said smirking in the general direction of the boys.

"Yes he certainly is. How was shopping?" I asked, knowing too well what the answer would be.

"It would have been better if you had come." She pouted.

"Yeah, but I didn't." I replied.

We stood there for a few seconds, watching Edward chasing Emmett around the back yard, trying to get him into the river, both of them laughing hysterically… This family never got boring, god I love it here. Imagine, if I was at home right now I would be bored out of my mind, probably writing another song.

"So…" I started, getting her to look at me. "What did you buy me?" I asked innocently.

"How did you know that I bought you something, how do you know that I wasn't so mad at you for not coming with me that I didn't buy you anything."

I just raised my eyebrows at her, looking at her like she grew a second head.

"Come look, it's so cute!" She replied, suddenly excited.

I just shook my head laughing at her, wondering exactly how many 'cute' things she had bought me.

We walked up to her room, where there were a few bags sitting on the floor, which I gathered where full of stuff she had brought for me, everything else would be put away by now.

I walked in and was about to sit down on her and Jasper's bed, but then realising the only thing the bed would be used for, I suddenly decided to sit on the floor instead.

"Ok well don't freak out, but I kind of already went through the clothes that you have here, and got rid of all the ones I didn't approve of, which was most of your wardrobe… And all this is just the start; we still have lots of work to do."

"Alice, the suspense is killing me here."

"Ok, ok."

She walked over to a bag, looking in. She pulled out a very tight fitting, short dress. It was midnight blue, and stopped about mid thigh, it had long sleeves and a low cut neck line, but all in all, it wasn't that bad.

I don't really mind wearing more feminine, and revealing clothes, simply because I know I am beautiful, it's part of the design, and so I feel a lot more comfortable in myself. Although whenever I was with Edward I generally felt this way anyway, I would never dare wear those kinds of clothes around him before I was changed, now on the other hand, well like I said, I have a lot more confidence, and I know Edward loves me.

She also got me a pair of black pumps to wear with it as well as a black chunky bracelet, a beaded black necklace that doubles over and a pair of fishnet gloves. One outfit down.

We went through 10 different outfits before it was all done, then she rushed off to put them in my closet, making sure certain outfits were put together. Edward sure will get a shock when he opens his wardrobe next, but then again, he did know she was going shopping, so maybe not.

We went back into her room when she walked into her wardrobe, coming back out with three more bags, three bags that I would recognise anywhere, Victoria Secret.

"Alice…" I said warily.

"Oh, come on, it's just a few things, you know, for when you and Edward decide to --"

"Alice!"

"What? It's bound to happen eventually, and you will need to be prepared."

"Alice! That's none of your business!"

"You know," She started smirking. "We all thought we lost the whole 'blushing virgin Bella' when you got confidence, but I just found your weak spot." She said looking quite proud of herself.

I just snatched the bags off her, stomping out of her room. I walked to Edward and my room, to find him sitting on his couch; I dumped the bags on the floor and walked over to the couch, sitting next to him.

"I hate your sister." I said leaning my head on his shoulder.

He pulled me onto his lap, "no, you don't." He kissed me softly before pulling back and looking at me.

"I on the other hand, hate my brother, and I'm sure that I will love my sister even more when I get a better look at them." he said gesturing to the Victoria Secrets bag.

If I could blush, I would have, but instead, I wacked him lightly on the chest.

I buried my head in his chest, listening to his rhythmic breathing, when I heard a car coming up the driveway, but I didn't think much of it, it was just probably someone from the family.

I heard a car door slam and suddenly, Tanya was standing in front of us with her hands firmly on her hips.

Oh crap, I had forgotten about her.

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Reviews?

What did you think?

And i know i promised Tanya drama this chapter, but i changed my mind, it will be in the next chapter instead. :) Sorry.

Also, i want to know if there are any guys that read this story, because honestly, i dont think i could imagine a guy reading my story and enjoying it, i'm not being sexist or whatever, i was just wondering :) So if you are male, review me and tell me about you and what attracts you to this story. PLEASE? :)

Thanksss.


	13. Chapter 13 Part I

**Ok, so i'm putting this chapter up in two different parts, only because it is taking a lot longer to write than i thought it would, plus i am swamped with school work and crap, so i give you part one, it is only fairly short, please forgive me, but at least you have something to keep you going for a while.**

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"Oh, uh… Hey Tanya…" I said as I tried to shuffle off Edwards lap, but he held onto me, making sure that I didn't move, not that I minded, at least now when Tanya yells at me later, I can blame it on him. Ok, so honestly, I probably would never do that, but thinking that I would helps me feel a little bit braver, and well, any thoughts of Edward made me feel safer.

"Hello Tanya" Edward smiled politely, it seemed like he was trying to reasonable about it, or he was trying to annoy the crap out of her, which by the looks of things, he was doing a bang up job with the latter, she was practically fuming in her spot… _I hope she doesn't burn the carpet. _

"Bella, can I talk to you." She asked snatching my arm, but Edward had a firm grip on my waist and he wasn't letting go, I think he was worried that if I believed her lies once, I would believe them again, but I've learned from previous mistakes, and I doubt I would ever be able to believe her again, no matter what she tries, I have lost all faith in her, she will never gain my trust again – she doesn't disserve it.

"You can talk to her here" Edward said calmly, like nothing was going on. I take back what I just said… or thought… but I think he does just wants to piss her off.

"I would rather talk to my _sister_ alone." Tanya chided.

"I'm not leaving my _girlfriend_ alone with you" Edward replied casually.

"Edward, it's fine, really." I said, trying to fold some of the tension.

"Are you sure, Love?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine; if I need you I'll call."

"Ok" He said lifting me off his lap, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before walking out of our room, closing the door behind him, although I was sure he was just waiting outside in the hallway, didn't he know curiosity killed the cat? Although I suppose he was generally worried about leaving me alone with her too, I love that he is so protective of me, well most of the time, some times it's just down right annoying though, but I know that the only reason he does it is because he cares, the thought alone made me smile like a giddy schoolgirl, but Tanya didn't seem too impressed.

She came and sat down on the couch next to me, seemingly confused about why I was smiling, but I thought it was best to keep that information to myself for the time being. Then suddenly, she pulled me into a hug, I was a bit shocked and didn't respond, which caused her to pull back, disappointed.

"Bella, I've missed you so much." She said before leaning back against the couch.

"Tanya, why are you here?"

She sighed heavily.

"Why am I here?" She asked and I just nodded my head, "I think the more important question is why are you here?"

"Umm… I live here?" I asked confused.

"Bella, what are you thinking? You know what happened last time, what makes you think it won't happen again? You can't trust him."

"Tanya, I don't really think it's your place to talk about trust, I mean you flat out lied to me to stop me from going after him." She reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear in a very caring gesture.

"Only because I was so worried, I knew that he would hurt you again." She replied solemnly.

"That is none of your business Tanya, how could you know such a thing, I know how much he hurt me, I lived it remember? But I also know that he loves me more than anything, I don't understand how you can sit there and contradict such a beautiful truth." I replied angrily, I could imagine the grin that would have engulfed Edwards face while he was leaning against the wall outside of the room.

"Because, you don't know what you're doing, you don't know him, you only know the lie. He doesn't love you, and he never will honey." She sounded sincere and truly worried about me, and that made me mad, really mad.

"How dare you!" I yelled jumping to my feet. "You have no idea, you weren't there, you were never there, he loves me, and if nothing else, I know that for sure. You have no right to come into our home and make these kinds of accusations. Get out!"

"Bella, you can't kick me out of this house, it's not just up to you." She was defensive and angry.

"No, but I can kick you out of my bedroom."

"Yeah, well, what if Edward wants me in here?"

Edward was at my side in a second.

"Why on earth would I want something like that? Neither Bella nor I have done anything to disserve that kind of torture, and hell, I've done some pretty horrendous things in my time. I think you should leave, go out and hunt, or something, just get out of our room."

"Fine" She said as she stomped out of the room abruptly.

As soon as I heard her slam the back door I walked over to the window to see her jump gracefully over the creek and fume off into the forest.

Edward snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me to his side, in a comforting gesture, and I did feel comforted, I felt at ease. I glanced at the carpet inconspicuously, wondering if it was at all possible for her to leave some sort of mark, but there was nothing there… _that's boring_. I snickered quietly at the thought.

"Care to share the joke, Love?" Edward asked confused, ok so maybe I wasn't as inconspicuous as I had thought.

"Oh, I was just worried that Tanya might have scorched the carpet in her fury"

"And…" He asked following my gaze to the patch of carpet where she was standing.

"Nothing" he sighed disappointedly, "That's kind of boring."

I laughed again; more pronounced this time though than the last.

"That's what I thought" I said when he looked at me quizzically.

He just smiled before he towed me towards the couch.

"You do know that's no where near the end of Tanya right?" He asked worriedly.

"Trust me I know, I lived with her for a lot longer that I would have liked to." He looked down on me, resting his head in my hair.

"You don't have to worry you know?" He pulled away and looked at me cocking an eyebrow.

"I know that she will do anything to break us up, I just can't believe I never saw it before now, but I love you, and I have you here with me and as long as I have that, then nothing she says or does could ever make me doubt you… us."

"I love you too." He replied simply.

I jumped off the couch suddenly about to rush out of the room to find Alice, but I was stopped suddenly by a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist, and before I knew it I was being pulled back onto Edwards lap.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked feign innocence.

"Umm… no where?" I asked

"Good guess" He replied huskily as he started kissing from my jaw down to my neck and back again. I couldn't help the involuntary moan that slipped between my lips, which in turn caused him to growl and become more aggressive with his kisses.

I quickly sat up, struggling out of his stone grasp. He let me go hesitantly, his eyes searched my face, trying to gage a reaction, but I gave him none, I just walked out of the room before things went too far and I wasn't able to stop myself.

I know he would never try and rush me into something I didn't want to do, and I know he loved me and only wanted to please me, but I just couldn't take that step, that leap of faith into the unknown, well what was unknown for us at least. I wasn't ready for him to lose control with me yet, and I couldn't let myself go like I used too, as much as I wanted to give in to him, I couldn't do it, my body just wouldn't let me, my mind overpowered my dead heart, which was probably a good thing anyway.

I walked down to the front room, sitting down at Edward's piano, I placed my finger on the C, pressing down gently, loving the melodic sound that filled the air.

I heard Edward come into the room and he approached me, but stopped before he reached me.

"I'm so sorry Bella," I hit the D this time, comparing the sounds in my head. "Are you terribly mad?" He asked trying to get a response from me.

I turned to look at him, suddenly wishing I hadn't, his eyes were so full of remorse, sadness and mostly rejection.

"It's strange isn't it?" I asked remembering how I used to feel when he would pull away from me.

"What is?" He asked confused.

"It's like suddenly we have changed roles, but at least now you sort of know how I used to feel when you would pull away."

"Do you forgive me?" He asked quietly.

"I was never mad at you to begin with, I could never be mad with you, I was mad at myself, I hate that I can't let my guard down around you, I don't even mean to pull away, my body just does and no matter how much I want too, I just cant return to you after that. I am sorry, I don't know why it's so hard to let go."

"It's ok, I can understand to some extent at least." He said opening his arms for me as I walked into them, breathing in his scent.

"I love you Bella, more than life itself." he breathed, "And if you aren't ready to cross those lines yet then that is fine, I will wait for an eternity if that is what it takes, I only want you to be happy my love, that is all I have ever wanted."

Our little moment was suddenly interrupted by someone clearing their throat from behind us and I turned to see Tanya looking at us lovingly.

"Bella, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted before, I guess I thought he didn't really love you, that he couldn't, but it's clear now that he does, and that you love him and I'm sorry for my rash actions."

"Edward, I also owe you an apology, I sold you short, I saw how much you hurt Bella, and I honestly thought that if you could put her through that much pain, that you couldn't mean any good by asking her back. I was just trying to protect her, and I see now I was wrong in my assumptions, but please know, I only had Bella's best interest at heart. I am truly sorry that I judged you so quickly, and I am sorry I underestimated your love for each other."

I looked at Edward shocked, I didn't know what to make of any of this, I wasn't sure if she was being sincere and giving up her little ploy to break us up, or if she was working some sort of angle.

"Thank you Tanya, that is very considerate of you." Edward replied. She smiled before heading out the front door. I heard her car start and drive down the driveway.

"What do you think?" I asked sceptical.

"I don't know, but I do know this isn't the last we'll be seeing of her. I'm sure she is up to something."

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**AN --**

**Ok, so please tell me what you thought and all that, plus i am still wondering if there are any guys that read this, but it doesnt look like it, unless they just refuse to review me. **

**I have decided that i want to try and get at least 15 reviews for this chapter, because i have been very discouraged lately with the amount of reviews i have been getting. **

**I'm not going to threaten you and say i wont put up the next part if you dont review me, but it would be nice to get more than just the usual people reviewing, heaps of people have added this to their favorites and alerts, but i never get many reviews, its kind of strange.**

**Well, thats enough rambeling for me. More Tanya drama soon.**


	14. Chapter 13 Part II

**Part two of chapter 13 at last, more Tanya drama coming soon.**

**this is EPOV and it starts from earlier in the day, before Tanya arrives, so it starts about mid chap 12. :)**

**Enjoy.**

**

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EPOV – **_earlier that day_

"So what are we doing today?" I turned towards her as she asked this.

"Well, I actually have to help Carlisle with something, so I'm afraid you're on your own today. But I suppose you could see what Esme is doing; she might have something to keep you busy." I replied, sorrowfully, I didn't want to leave her, but I had to unfortunately, there was a lot that Carlisle and I had to discus, and some action needed to happen

"I think I might." She replied smiling.

I smiled down on her before kissing her on the cheek and reluctantly walking off towards Carlisle's office.

I approached the door to his office knocking lightly twice.

"Come in Edward"

I opened the door and walked in seeing him sitting at his desk with papers all round him.

"Ready to go?" I asked casually.

"Just a second" I waited patiently while he finished off his paper work and then stood from his desk and followed me out the door. We were both quiet until we were in his car, I wasn't worried about Bella hearing us so much, I just didn't want her to panic.

Carlisle started up the car and we drove out of the garage and down the driveway.

"So what's the problem son?" He asked looking towards me.

I let out a sigh before turning towards him to explain what the problem was.

"Tanya" I replied simply

"From the Denali clan? The one that has a infatuation with you?" He asked calmly.

"Yes, that one."

"So what is the problem?" He asked confused.

"Well, Bella was living with her in Denali for a while when she was first turned, and of course, she told Tanya about me and her, and all that, apparently, Bella had decided to try and find me at one point, but Tanya stopped her, telling Bella that I did the same thing to her once, that I pretended to fall in love with her, and the once I got sick of her I just left her broken, which you and I both know is a load of nonsense."

"Does Bella know that?" He asked, interrupting me.

"Of course she does."

"So you told her then, explained it to her?"

"Well, not in so many words, but she knows I would never do that, and she knows I love her." I replied defensively.

"Yes, I am sure she does know all of that, but, because you haven't told her, or explained it to her, if things ever do get rough between you two, she might doubt that trust again."

I sat silently in thought for a few minutes, he was right, what if something did happen and she started to doubt me again, I couldn't let that become an possibility, I would have to talk to her tonight, before Tanya got here.

"I guess you're right." I said finally.

We pulled up at the park, it was a cloudy day, but it wasn't raining, I needed to get Carlisle out of the house before I could talk to him, I just didn't want to worry Bella too much. We both got out of the car and walked towards one of the park benches, sitting down while we looked on at all the children playing.

"So why is Tanya still a problem now?" He asked as he stared out at the kids.

"Well, Bella and Tanya were talking on the phone one night, and Bella told Tanya that she and I were together again, and Tanya lost it I suppose, and declared that she was coming down to see us, I guess I'm just really worried about what she has planned, I mean, I doubt that she is just going to let this go, and not try anything, you know her as well as I do Carlisle, and she will not just let this go."

"That is true, but perhaps she is only coming up to wish you two well and to visit Bella." He replied sincerely, Carlisle always tried to see the good in others.

"I don't think so." I said the anger not unnoticed by him.

"Regardless Edward, I understand your need to protect Bella, but if things turn bad, please just try to be rational. The Denali's are the only other family like our own, and we need to keep them on our side in case something ever happens."

"So what your saying is, despite the fact that she is probably trying to come down to tear me and Bella apart and ruin our relationship, I should try and be _friendly_?" I asked angrily, as my tone caught the interest of one of the parents sitting near by. Carlisle just smiled at them politely before glaring at me.

"Keep your voice down!" He scorned.

"And yes, that is what I am saying, try to reason with her first, and if worst comes to worst, then we will deal with her then, but for now I want you to try and be polite, please. Consider it a personal favour."

"Fine, I'll try, but I can't promise anything Carlisle."

"You have a lot of patients, I'm sure you will be fine. When is she coming anyway?"

"Probably sometime tonight or tomorrow."

"Well then, I suggest that you get home and talk to Bella before she gets here, and make sure you explain to her why Tanya is so obsessed."

"Ok, let's go." I replied as I stood from the bench, making my way to the car, hearing Carlisle approach behind me.

The drive home was silent, and when the car had stopped in the garage I sprinted out of the car and up into the house, finding Bella in the office with Esme, they were both appreciating what I suppose they had worked on while we were away. I heard Carlisle approach the door behind me.

"Knock, knock"

Both of the girls turned to look at us as Carlisle walked over to Esme, placing a swift kiss on her cheek as he enveloped her in his arms, Bella was walking over to me and I instinctively placed my arms out for her to walk into.

I loved the feeling of having her in my arms, almost as much as I loved her scent, although it wasn't the scent of her blood that called to me now, no this was just her, and I loved it all the same.

I rested my head in her hair, breathing in her scent once more.

"I missed you" I stated, and she moved in closer to me. I had missed her, quite a lot, even though we weren't apart for all that long, but since I had lost her for 100 years, every minute away from her feels like hell, I guess I'm just afraid that she will one day realise that I'm not good enough for her, and leave.

I felt her pull back, as she looked up at me through her thick eyelashes, and for a second, I lost all coherent thought. She turned around and I followed her gaze to see Carlisle and Esme gone, when had they left?

She pulled out of my grip entirely, and I had to suppress the groan that threatened to come out as I tried to pull her back to me.

"What's wrong, love?" I asked when I realised she wasn't returning to me.

"I need to hunt" she stated simply.

"I see; would you like me to come?" I asked hopefully, I loved hunting with Bella, now that I had gotten past the anxiety.

"Would you like to come?"

"Of course I would my love, shall we go?" I asked as I offered her my arm. She linked hers in with mine as we made our way out of the house.

…………………

We were casually walking back to the house, hand in hand, not really in a rush to go anywhere, I mean it's not like we need to sleep or eat. As we finally reached the house Bella was suddenly pulled out of my grip and into one of Emmett's famous bone crushing hugs.

"Bella I missed you!" He yelled excitedly.

Emmett and Rose had both been away for a week, although no one was really sure where they went, they only told us they wanted to get away for a while, but they were probably out destroying forests…

"I missed you too… now put me down you crazy man!" Bella laughed, he put her down with a huge grin on his face, and I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips, but the second it came out, I had wished it hadn't.

"Don't think I forgot about you little brother" Emmett said as he bounded over to me, a look of panic crossed my face as I tried to run, but was too late. Emmett picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, walking towards the back door. Despite my best efforts I couldn't struggle out of his grip, he was stronger than I was.

I could hear Bella laughing at the door while she watched Emmett carry me out towards the creek that flowed in our back yard. I knew what he was planning, of course I was he was playing it all out for me in his head, and I didn't get a chance to protest before I was thrown in the river.

I swam around for a couple of seconds, laughing before I jumped out of the water and dove towards Emmett. I could hear Alice talking to Bella at the house, but I was too preoccupied to worry about them. I was chasing Emmett around the back yard, but every time I got hold of him, he was able to get away; we were both laughing and having a good time with it when I heard Alice drag Bella away to look at whatever she bought her.

Emmett was standing by the river bed, looking towards the forest, and I dove at him driving both of us into the water. We both came up to the surface laughing and splashing each other.

"What are you two doing?"

We looked towards the back door to see Esme standing there looking quite amused.

"Hey mum! Come on in! The water's great!" Emmett said as he splashed me again.

"Not today, I don't think." She said as she started to walk into the house again. "You boys have fun" She offered us over her shoulder, and I looked at Emmett who had a huge grin on his face.

We were in the river for a good half an hour, wrestling, splashing each other and having fun, before we decided to get out.

I raced up the stairs and up to my bedroom to have a shower and get changed. As I opened my closet to find something to wear, I wasn't all that surprised to see half of Bella's old clothes gone, and replaced with some new ones, courtesy of Alice.

I jumped in the shower and got changed, towel drying my hair and then walked out to sit down on the couch in my room, waiting for Alice and Bella to finish.

I didn't have to wait long before she came stomping into the room, she threw some bags on the floor and came and sat down next to me.

"I hate your sister" She said seriously, and I looked over to the bags once more to see they were from Victoria Secret… interesting.

I pulled her onto my lap holding her close to me.

"No you don't" I replied as I kissed her softly.

"I, on the other hand, hate my brother, and I'm sure I will love my sister even more when I get a better look at them" I said gesturing to the bags. I guess that she didn't like my answer by the way she wacked me on the chest, but I smiled lightly anyway.

She leant her head on my chest, listening to my breathing I suppose, and so I did the same, as I heard a car come up the driveway, but I didn't think much of it, I was too absorbed in my own little world, the one that only involved me and Bella.

Suddenly, Tanya was standing in front of us, her hands firmly on her hips, and a scowl set on her face, and suddenly I was very nervous, and I instinctively pulled Bella closer to me, cursing Emmett for keeping me from Bella this afternoon, and not being able to talk to her… this won't be good.

"Oh, uh… Hey Tanya…" I heard Bella mumble as she tried to slide off my lap, but I held her in place stubbornly, Tanya was just going to have to deal with me, and if I couldn't go off at her like I wanted to then damn it, I was going to keep Bella as close to me as possible, she was the only thing that would keep me calm right now.

"Hello Tanya" I forced a polite smile as she glared at me, I had to be reasonable, but if I could piss her off a little bit in the process, well that wouldn't be so bad… right? Honestly thought, all I said was hello, and she was already fuming, she looked like she was going to explode in anger, well I suppose its better than her always fluttering her eyelashes at me and trying to be seductive.

"Bella can I talk to you?" she asked as she grabbed onto Bella's arm, but I had a firm grip on her waist and I wasn't letting go, I just didn't want Tanya to have the chance to plant more lies in Bella's head, we were still in such a fragile part of the relationship, and I know that Bella still didn't trust me as much as she wanted too, I'd rather seem over protective than let something get between us.

"You can talk to her here" I said calmly, it wasn't as hard as I thought it had been to stay calm, as long as I have Bella here with me, I should be fine… I hope.

"I would rather talk to my _sister_ alone." Tanya chided.

Whoa, that was a low blow, and I was starting to get angry, she had no right to call Bella her sister after what she did to her, and I had to fight so hard to stay in my seat and not jump up and rip her limb from limb. Just relax.

"I'm not leaving my _girlfriend_ alone with you" I replied, trying to sound some what casual.

I felt Bella shift on my lap; I had almost forgotten she was there.

"Edward, it's fine, really." She said as she made to get up, but I held her tight in her place, trying to fight the urge to yell at her and tell her she was crazy, for some reason, I don't think that would go down to well right now.

"Are you sure, Love?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine; if I need you I'll call."

"Ok" I replied as I lifted her off my lap and made my way out the door, although I refused to go any further than the corridor, I was leaning against the wall right beside the door, waiting for any indication that Bella needed me.

It was quiet at first, and I was a little bit worried until I heard Tanya sit on the leather couch.

"Bella, I've missed you so much."

"Tanya, why are you here?" I heard Bella ask, she seemed slightly annoyed, and I heard Tanya sigh heavily. I was waiting for the denial, but was shocked when it didn't come.

"Why am I here? I think the more important question is why are you here?"

"Umm… I live here?" I could hear the confusion in Bella's voice, although I wasn't sure if she put it on or not.

"Bella, what are you thinking? You know what happened last time, what makes you think it won't happen again? You can't trust him." I felt a growl make its way from my chest before I could stop it, although it seemed to be quiet enough that neither of them noticed it, or if they did, they didn't care. I was pushing myself back against the wall trying to calm my anger, when suddenly Alice was at my side, her hand on my shoulder supportively.

I smiled at her before I relaxed my stance.

"Tanya, I don't really think it's your place to talk about trust, I mean you flat out lied to me to stop me from going after him." I smiled lightly at that, proud that she was sticking up for herself, and I saw Alice smiling too, clearly as proud as I was.

"Only because I was so worried, I knew he would hurt you again." I tensed, waiting for Bella's reaction, hoping that it wouldn't throw her off, and again I felt a comforting hand on my arm. Alice always knew when I needed her, and she always seemed to know just what to do to help me.

"That's none of your business Tanya, how could you know such a thing, I know how much he hurt me, I lived it remember? But I also know that he loves me more that anything, I don't understand how you can sit there and contradict such a beautiful truth." I heard the anger arise in her voice, and I couldn't help the huge grin that spread over my face, this girl, she was so amazing, and so devoted to me, after everything I put her through.

I looked down to Alice who was wearing a similar grin to me.

"Because, you don't know what you are doing, you don't know him, you only know the lie. He doesn't love you, and he never will honey." She was so calm about it and I pushed myself off the wall about to break through the door, but was stopped by Alice who wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.

_Relax Edward, you can't risk it_

And I did relax.

"How dare you!" I heard Bella yell, and the thud of her jumping to her feet. "You have no idea, you weren't there, you were never there, he loves me, and if nothing else, I know that for sure. You have no right to come into our home and make these kinds of accusations. Get out!"

I smiled again and pulled back from Alice's embrace.

"Bella, you can't kick me out of this house, it's not just up to you." I could hear the defensiveness in her voice, and the fear in her mind, she was worried she had been beaten, but she wasn't going to give up.

"No, but I can kick you out of my bedroom." Bella stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well what if Edward wants me here?" The second I heard it escape her lips I was at Bella's side, my arm around her waist protectively. I was mad, but I would not let her get the better of me, I wouldn't do that to Carlisle.

"Why on earth would I want something like that? Neither Bella nor I have done anything to disserve that kind of torture, and hell, I've done some pretty horrendous things in my time. I think you should leave, go out and hunt, or something, just get out of our room."

"Fine" she said in a huff as she walked out of the room.

I heard the backdoor slam and Bella walked over to the window looking down at Tanya as she jumped the creek and stormed off into the forest.

I walked up behind her and snaked my arm around her waist, pulling her to my side, in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture, which seemed to work, as I felt her relax at my side.

I heard her laugh quietly, and was curious as to what she found humorous about this whole thing.

"Care to share the joke, Love?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Oh, I was just worried that Tanya might have scorched the carped in her fury"

"And…" I followed her gaze to the patch of carpet where she had been standing. "Nothing" I sighed, disappointed, "That's kind of boring."

She laughed again, although louder this time, and I looked at her quizzically once more.

"That's what I thought" she confirmed, and I smiled before leading her towards the couch again.

"You do know that's not the end of Tanya right?" I asked worried, hoping that now would be a good time to confirm everything with her, but just like always, she didn't do what I had expected.

"Trust me I know, I lived with her for a lot longer than I would have liked to." I looked down on her again, reading her reaction before resting my cheek in her hair, revelling in the smell.

"You don't have to worry you know?" She said suddenly, and I was a bit shocked and pulled away to look down at her, cocking an eyebrow, demanding she go on.

"I know she will do anything to break us up, I just can't believe I never saw it before now, but I love you, and I have you here with me, and as long as I have that, then nothing she says or does could ever make me doubt you… us."

"I love you too." I replied happily.

We sat in silence for a while before she jumped off the couch in a rush. I wrapped my arms around her waist in time to stop her, and pulled her back into my lap.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked innocently.

"Umm… no where?" She asked, unsure.

"Good guess" I replied as I kissed a line from her jaw down to her neck and back again. I heard a strangled moan escape her throat and couldn't suppress the growl that escaped mine, as I started to kiss her more aggressively.

She sat up quickly, like someone had just shocked her, as she struggled out my hold. I let her go hesitantly, searching her face for a reaction, hoping I hadn't pushed things too far again, but I got none, she turned and walked out of the room quickly, leaving me slightly confused.

Suddenly Alice was standing in front of me again.

"Fix this!" She said angrily as she stomped out of my room.

I love Alice, but sometimes she can be just plain scary.

I didn't mean to push her, and I honestly don't understand why she is so hesitant, I suppose she doesn't trust me yet, which I can understand. I stood and walked to the stairs, making my way down to the first level of the house. I heard someone on the piano, striking the C. I walked into the front room, not all that surprised to see Bella sitting at my piano, or our piano, I guess.

"I'm so sorry Bella." I said in a small voice, as she hit the D. "Are you terribly mad?" I asked, worried about what the answer would be.

She turned to look at me, and then a look of pain crossed her face, clearly I hadn't been all that great at hiding my pain.

"It's strange isn't it?" She asked; which threw me off a little bit. "What it?" I asked confused.

"It's like suddenly, we've changed roles, but at least now you sort of know how I used to feel when you would pull away." I felt another pang of guilt wash over me, as I realised how horrible she must have felt all the time.

"Do you forgive me?"

"I was never mad at you to begin with, I could never be mad with you, I was mad at myself, I hate that I can't let my guard down around you, I don't even mean to pull away, my body just does and no matter how much I want too, I just can't return to you after that. I am sorry, I don't know why it's so hard to let go." She seemed somewhat relived to say it out loud, to me.

"It's ok, I can understand to some extent at least." I said, as I opened my arms, as she walked into them.

"I love you Bella, more than life itself." I breathed out, afraid of her reaction. "And if you aren't ready to cross those lines yet, then that is fine, I will wait for an eternity if that is what it takes, I only want you to be happy my love, that is all I have ever wanted."

We were suddenly interrupted by Tanya clearing her throat, and the first thing that worried me was that she was trying to keep me out of her mind, she was singing _Mary had a little lamb_ over and over in her head.

"Bella, I want to apologize for the way I acted before, I guess I thought he didn't really love you, that he couldn't, but it's clear now that he does, and that you love him and I'm so sorry for my rash actions."

"Edward, I also owe you an apology, I sold you short, I saw how much you hurt Bella, and I honestly thought that if you could put her through that much pain, that you couldn't mean any good by asking her back, I was just trying to protect her, and I see now I was wrong in my assumptions, but please know, I only had Bella's best interest at heart. I am truly sorry that I judged you so quickly, and I am sorry I underestimated your love for each other."

I looked down at Bella, to see her looking up at me, her eyes wide with confusion, but I didn't want to worry her about Tanya, because I was sure she was up to something.

"Thank you Tanya, that is very considerate of you." I replied, Tanya smiled at us before walking towards the front door, I heard the car door open, close and then the car start and drive off down the driveway.

"What do you think?" Bella asked me, she was concerned enough; I didn't need to add any pressure to that.

"I don't know, but I do know this isn't the last we'll be seeing of her. I'm sure she is up to something."

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**AN --  
**

**What do you think? **

**Reviewsss! :) im somewhat more happy with the amount of reviews i got, but i still didnt get as many as i would have liked.**

**Honestly, 15 isnt that many, so lets aim for that again k? :)  
**

**Again, waiting to see if any guys read this, but i dont think they do, and if they do, they are very shy about it, or in denial...**

**xx**

**Cassie**


	15. Chapter 14

**Ok so i know it took like forever for me to update this, and i apologize profusely, but it's here now, so please just enjoy it, and don't come knocking on my door in the middle of the night with pitchforks and torches. :)**

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It has been five days, five whole days, since we last saw Tanya, and I am starting to get somewhat worried. After she left Edward and I sat down and talked about every second that we had missed of each others lives while we were apart, and then he explained to me in great depth that he never had or never will have anything to do with Tanya, which of course I knew, but I suppose it was nice to have that reassurance.

I was currently sitting through a boring English lesson, one that I had had many times before, but I suppose it wasn't all bad, I mean I had Edward on my left, Alice on my right and Emmett behind me, so the four of us were able to talk undetected by the rest of the class. Actually this was some what of a routine for us, I had Edward and at least one other Cullen in all of my classes, Edward and I even had gym together, which I actually enjoyed now that I wasn't in danger of hurting myself or others.

The teacher was droning on and on about Romeo and Juliet, and I now shared the same views that Edward did in regards to Romeo, or any humans, its so easy for a human to numb the pain, death is so easy for them, and humans, well they forget eventually, unlike us, we have the uncanny ability to remember every little detail of everything, which can become very painful and annoying, despite the fact that it can sometimes help, like in boring lessons like this for example, I can sit here and recall every detail of last night with Edward. Don't get me wrong though, nothing happened, we just spent time cuddling on his couch, which is more than enough for me.

Which leads me back to the conversation at hand, it was being held in the last two rows of our English class, while all the humans are none the wiser. Emmett and Edward were debating about the tastes of bear compared to mountain lion, while Alice and I were listening in amused and throwing in our own two cents every now and then. When someone was asked a question, Edward would quickly tell us the answer and then the conversation would continue. It was a nice routine that we had going, it was comfortable and fun, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't completely dread school, although I would much prefer to be at home with my family.

"What on earth could compare to the rowdiness of a newly woken grizzly, I mean they are just so much fun to play with, and then when you do get to the good bit, it's all that much better because it was worked up, having all the adrenalin coursing through their body only amplifies the taste."

"Em, you're an idiot." I said turning my head slightly so that I could see him sitting behind me.

"Bella, I'm offended" He said mock hurt spread on his face, but there was still humor in his voice.

"Hasn't anyone told you not to play with your food?" I asked innocently.

"Well at lease I'm getting some" He replied childishly, he often liked to return to the fact that he and Rose were having sex and Edward and I weren't, like I said before… idiot, and childish, but admittedly, he was entertaining.

"I'll be sure to inform Rose of how little you appreciate her giving her body to you." Alice replied, turning slightly so that she was facing us too.

"Oh, what's that I see in the future? Nothing for Emmett that's for sure." She flashed an evil smirk as Emmett slid down in his chair, keeping his mouth shut. Edward and I were giggling away, trying to be quiet so as not to get in trouble.

"And what would that be Bella?" The teacher was standing at the front of the class looking at me expectantly.

"Uh…" I looked to Edward, while he searched for the answer, but I didn't get the chance to answer it.

"That's what I thought" He said and he turned to the blackboard to continue his lesson. I couldn't help the slight giggle that escaped me.

The rest of the class went by silently; Edward and I were sitting there holding hands while Alice and Emmett looked as if they were interested in whatever was happening in the class, but clearly thinking about other things.

The Bell rang, signaling the end of the lesson and the start of lunch, and Edward and I shuffled out of the room, really in no hurry while Alice and Emmett raced ahead to meet their significant others.

We reached the cafeteria and grabbed a tray filling it with food before we went and sat at the table with the rest of our family. It was silent for a while, as we all sat there picking at whatever food was on the tray in front of us, trying to make it look like we were at least eating a little bit.

"So Rose, guess what Emmett said in English today." Alice started with an amused expression, but she didn't get to finish her thought as Emmett jumped off his seat and tackled her to the ground with a loud thud, covering her mouth with his hand. I looked up to see the whole cafeteria staring at our table; clearly they weren't expecting one of the quietest tables to do anything interesting, usually they just pretend we aren't here. I looked at Edward, he was shocked, completely shocked, and then I burst out laughing, it was such a bizarre situation, and that was the only reaction I could comprehend.

Edward looked at me and then joined in on the laughing; soon the rest of the family joined us while Emmett and Alice pretended to wrestle on the ground, Emmett pretending to let Alice win.

When they had had enough and Edward was sure no one suspected anything, they re-joined us at the table, still laughing quietly.

After that the conversation flowed casually until it was time to move on to our next class, I had biology with Edward and Jasper. We were walking to class, Edwards arm was wrapped firmly around my waist and mine around his, and we were both paying more attention to each other than to where we were walking.

I was pulled out of my trance when someone stepped in front of me, stopping me from walking any further.

"Hey Bella" I'm pretty sure this kid was in one of my classes, gym maybe? I think his name was Taylor Newton. Must be some relation to Mike Newton, and honestly, that worried me a little bit.

"Yeah?" I tried to intimidate him, hoping that I could scare him away, he didn't leave though.

"So I was wondering if maybe… you know… if you wanted too, we could maybe go out sometime… like a date?"

Yep, must be related to Mike. I could hear a low growl rise from Edwards's chest, and Taylor threw a nervous look at him, and then turned back to me expectantly.

"Um, Taylor right?" I asked

"Yeah" he replied eagerly.

"This is my _boyfriend_ Edward" I said casually introducing him.

"Hi," He said absently "So do you want to?"

I was about to answer him but was beaten to it.

"Not if you ever want to walk again, get lost." Edward all but growled, a menacing stare covered his face and the poor kid ran off scared out of his mind.

"That was mean" I replied turning to him. "It's not like you can blame him, I mean look at me."

Edward looked at me, shocked and I laughed quietly at his face, before I stood up on my toes to kiss him lightly on the lips, whispering a thank you in his ear before I turned and continued the walk to class.

I couldn't hear Edward following me, I turned, wondering what was keeping him, and saw that he was rooted to the spot; a dazed look covered his face. I walked over to him standing in front of him momentarily, when I got no response I rolled my eyes before grabbing his hand and dragging him off to class.

We took our seat at the back left corner, Jasper was already there, with a microscope and some slides lay out in front of him. I saw him smirking at some kid across the room; I turned and saw Taylor Newton sitting at the front of the class, sending worried glances to Edward, and then sly looks to me. I winked at Jasper and Edward deciding I was going to mess with this kid somewhat, get a bit of a laugh out of him.

It's not like me to purposely torture some poor kid, but this offer was too good to pass up. I looked down at my outfit, smiling to myself, it was perfect; I was wearing a low cut halter top which was backless, it stopped just below my naval, and when I bent over gave a great view of my chest, and a denim mini skirt with black pumps. I had given up and let Alice dress me today, I wonder if she knew that I would need it.

I walked over to the front desk, swaying my hips more than necessary, and stopped right in front of Taylor. I leant in over the desk to whisper in his ear.

"Sorry about before, my boyfriend has anger management issues." I said quietly as I pulled back and winked.

I stayed leaning on the desk, both of my elbows laying flat, giving him a great view of my chest, which he was staring at uncontrollably, he wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was being a complete pervert.

The teacher then walked into the class and I stood up adjusting my skirt.

"See you later" I purred as I walked to the back of the room once again, leaving him in a complete daze, and very uncomfortable I guess considering the way he was sitting, trying to hide his pants from view.

I sat down between Edward and Jasper, smiling triumphantly; they both looked at me shaking their heads, trying to hide the laughter that seemed to be dying to escape.

The rest of the lesson went by uneventfully and the bell went for gym. I packed up my books into my bag as Edward slung it over his shoulder – always the gentleman. As we reached the gym he passed me my bag, with a swift kiss on the cheek and walked into the guy's locker room. I walked into the girls and saw that Alice and Rose were already there.

All the Cullen's had gym together, the teacher hated it, because we would always be on a team together and no one ever stood a chance against us.

Today we were playing Volleyball, which needed six players per team, perfect. We were playing against the 'Jocks' who are inseparable when it comes to team sports, not as much as us though, they have been separated twice, we always find a way to make sure we stay together, the poor teacher hates us all.

Serving on the other team was the cheer captain Stacy, next to her was Chris, then James – he gave me the freaks, I suppose there is more to a name than some may think. Next row was Taylor, Lucy and Ebony. I was first up to serve on our side, with Edward to my left, and Alice to his, Jasper was in front of her, with Rose on his right and Em on hers.

Stacy threw the ball up in the air, serving perfectly; Emmett jumped up and spiked it, almost knocking Lucy out.

The game went on for about 5 minutes before the coach called on the mercy rule, considering we were smashing them by 18 – 0.

When the final bell went, indicating the end of gym, we all rushed to our respected locker rooms and changed into our normal clothes; which was made easier because we don't have to shower since we don't sweat.

We walked out of the school grounds together, each couple either holding hands or intertwined some other way. Edward and I got into the Austin Martin while the others got into Alice's Mercedes; they were going shopping while Edward and I planned on going home and hunting before relaxing to some music and doing our homework.

We pulled up in the driveway and just like every other day this week, I had expected to see some sign of Tanya, but there was still nothing.

"Something isn't right" I said out loud. Edward looked over at me, realization on his face.

"I know, but there is nothing we can do, other than wait it out and see if she shows again."

We walked into the house hand in hand, dropping off our things. I pocked my head around the door of Carlisle office; he and Esme were sitting together on the couch on the far left wall.

"Edward and I are going hunting, the others have gone shopping." They liked to know where we all were in case of some sort of emergency.

"Ok sweetie, have fun" Esme said, in her caring motherly voice, the one that she always uses, I don't even think she knows she does it, but she only ever uses it on us kids.

I nodded lightly once before blowing them a kiss and walking downstairs to meet Edward. He extended his hand to me which I took enthusiastically and we walked out of the house and into the forest. We were running north for 20 minutes before we slowed to a walk and stopped, letting our senses tell us where to go.

………….

We were walking back to the house, hand in hand, both feeling happy and full. We approached the house noticing that Alice's car was outside, indicating that the shopping trip was in fact over. We walked into the house, and I was feeling like I was walking on clouds, Edward and I always felt so much closer after hunting together, and it was a nice feeling.

We walked into the Lounge room, finding everyone gathered there, and Tanya sitting on one of the couches. I felt my mood drop completely and sighed in frustration – well it was good while it lasted at least.

Tanya stood when we walked into the room. "Hello, we have been waiting for you two."

"Uh huh." I said as Edward went to sit on a recliner and I followed him, sitting on his lap. This was not an unusual situation for us, we often sat together like this in front of the family, but it seemed to piss Tanya off a bit. I knew she wasn't happy for us.

She was wearing a pleasant smile that only faltered slightly when she saw Edward and I sit together, but it was enough for me to notice that she was well and truly full of crap.

"What are you doing here Tanya?" Edward asked, not in the mood for pleasantries.

"I understand why you are upset with me, but please know, I only have your best interest at heart." Tanya replied, sounding sincere.

"Well then, clearly you don't know what's best for us." I said snidely.

"Keep out of this; this is between me and Edward." Tanya snapped, which I think shocked everyone.

"Like hell it is, it's my damn relationship you're screwing with." I snapped back. I saw Carlisle's disapproving look, which was spread to Esme's face as well, neither of them liked it when we swore.

Tanya was now walking around the room, fuming.

"Don't you people see it?" She asked throwing her hands up in the air. "She doesn't disserve him, she never has, and she never will. I mean look at her, even as a vampire she is so plain and ordinary."

"Now that's enough!" Esme yelled as she got to her feet, I could see Tanya was tack aback by her outburst; Esme was never one to yell. "You have no right to say that!"

"But it's true, and you all know it!" Tanya replied looking from one face to another, seeking some form of back up.

"Says who?" Alice asked calmly.

"Says me! He shouldn't be with her, she doesn't disserve him!" She said pointing to me accursedly. The anger was starting to boil over; I was ready to kill this bitch, until I felt Edwards soothing hand on my thigh, calming me.

"He should be with me! I disserve him; we would be so perfect together 'Edward and Tanya Cullen' it just fits."

This time I did shoot up in anger, standing inches in front of her.

"Tanya, I think you should leave" I ground out through my teeth.

Tanya just looked past me and walked over to Edward who was now standing, ready to stop me from doing something stupid, or to stop her from hurting me, or maybe both, who knew? "Edward honey," She said as she reached him, placing her hand on his chest "tell them, tell them it's me you want and not her."

Edward stepped back from her hand glaring at her.

"Hah! And here I always thought vampires couldn't dream!" I heard Alice say, her voice dry and humorless.

I saw Tanya glare at Alice, almost like she was about to attack her, and I instinctively put myself between the two of them, she had no right hurting my family, this was between me and her.

"Tanya," Edward started gently, and everyone looked at him shocked. "How could you possibly ever be so deluded as to think that I could _ever_ want you over my Bella?"

Tanya looked shocked.

"You don't mean that, you're just saying that because that's what you're family thinks, and you don't want to disappoint them." She said fiercely, as if trying to intimidate a small child into agreeing with her.

"I think it's time you leave" Carlisle said, standing and making his way over to her slowly, carefully.

"No, you don't mean that." She replied again.

"You're no longer welcome in our house, nor in any of our lives" Edward said menacingly.

"That's not up to you" Tanya turned on Edward suddenly. "You don't get to decide what they want to do or who they want to see." She replied smugly.

"You're right" I said as I turned to Emmett motioning for him to have his say.

"Get lost!" He said as he pointed to the door. One by one I turned to the others and they all pointed to the door.

"Right." I grabbed one arm while Alice grabbed the other.

"It was nice of you to stop by" I said sarcastically as we dropped her on the front porch. We went to walk back inside, before I turned to her "Oh, and if you do bother us again, I won't hesitate to kill you, see ya!" and then I slammed the door in her face.

I walked back into the living room where everyone was laughing and I joined them happily, feeling my spirits lift some more.

After a while of talking in the lounge room, all the couples went their separate ways, as Alice dragged my upstairs to show me what she bought me. There were bags of clothes lying all over the floor, and I marveled at how she would have fit them all in the car with four other people in it.

We went through several different outfits and I soon found out she had in fact visited Victoria Secrets for me once again. I grumbled a quick thanks and took everything to my room dropping the bags on the floor. I walked over to Edward who was sitting on the couch reading a book, plopping down beside him. I rested my head on his shoulder as he finished the page he was on before closing the book.

"Let me guess," He said as he glanced at the bags. "You hate my sister?" He asked raising a perfect eyebrow.

"No, I love _our_ sister, I hate Victoria Secrets." He laughed lightly as he pulled me on his lap and I rested my head on his chest listening to the even breathing sounds.

* * *

**AN --**

**Yay?**

**Review?**

**I'm lonely :(**


	16. Last straw

**Final Post:**

Thanks to a few dickheads, i am now refusing to continue this story.

some people have said some stuff that really hurt me, the latest of which said, and i quote.

" U really have to fucking stop puttin in author quotes. I only read stories with more that 19 chapters and ur fucking "sorry" notes r really annoying. NOONES forgiving you fuck we just wanna read the story not why u aren't writing them"

This person, also had the Audacity to say all this in an anonymous review. If your gonna say shit like that, at least have the guts to sign in and do it.

I apologize if they seem to annoy people, but fuck, i have had a shit year, and i thought you as readers would like to know what is taking me so long to do updates.

i'm sorry if you don't like the fact that my dad died, and so i have had to take time off from it, but here is the result.

i'm sorry to those people who actually enjoyed the story and supported me as a writer, but i just don't need to put up with the shit anymore.

SO thanks to this person, and a small amount of others, i'm officially abandoning this story, and maybe even the other one i am working on.

and to that person,

Fuck you, you have no idea what people want, you are only one person.

Sorry again guys


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